Today was not great. I felt this damn nausea the moment I got up and it had a fever paired with it this time. It gets worse. I was lying down trying to relax, when the school called because my little man has a bad tummy ache and he threw up at school. Doesn’t that suck? His third day ever of grade one and he’s in the bathroom with the teacher getting sick. So, needless to say, I had to pick him up. The majority of the day was spent on the bed.  It was nice, kind of like when he was really little. However, neither of us felt well, which tends to make it difficult. Maybe I have a flu-bug???

So, because that’s my entire day. I also was going to write down one of my “in the vault” poems. This is a short poem that I sent to a very special friend when she was having a rough go.

When things don’t go as planned

And faith is hard to find – Believe

When life gets much too hard

And hope has slipped away – Believe

When fear is all you feel

And dreams have been forgotten – Believe 

When pain smothers the joy

And happiness seems lost – Believe 

When loneliness fills your heart

And love seems out of reach – Believe 

When everything falls apart

And you’re left empty inside – Believe 

When you close your eyes

And chose to believe

Please see that you’re a special gift – This, I Believe  

Please know that you’re a treasure

And you’re always loved and cherished – This, I Believe

When you see that you can do and be anything

And you trust yourself again – You Will Believe

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Feeling just as pukey as last night. Blech! I hate this nausea. I was okay when I first woke up, but as the day progressed, so did the yuck feeling in my stomach. It’s making me a bit crazy. It’s funny how I can bitch about this up the ying yang, but haven’t complained about my face in a while now. It’s weird what you get “used to”, if you know what I mean. Daily pain becomes par for the course (I wonder why my damn phone picks up on some phrases, but not others…strange). Despite feeling so sick, I had a great day with my youngest daughter today. We went shopping together (since she got all that loot for her birthday).  I actually felt fine until about 3:30 – 4:00, which was nice. We don’t get much time together for just the two of us. It was really great to spend the day just her and I. I know my oldest was upset. She wanted to come, but the sink in her room is leaking and she asked my dad to come look at it and he was coming today. We told her she needed to be home for that (turns out they opened a whole brand new can of worms – found a mess with the pipes, a chunk of uninsulated [is that a word??] wall, which was likely contributing to her freezing room and the entire vanity was a mess. So they tore it out and bought a new one. Brought it home from the city, opened the box and it was broken. By then it was getting late, so my dad took that with him to return it and get a different one and it’s all ripped apart in her room right now. Not disappointed that I missed all of that – lol‼️) We mainly stuck to South Common, we just went to Sports Check at the end of the day. Old Navy had all of their jeans on for 50% off so I got a pretty nice pair of jeans for myself for only $20 (maybe I am a cheapskate after all – I don’t know, I think that I just like a good deal!) I also got a new water bottle at Indigo. I know that sounds boring, but I really love it! They had those s’well water bottles, which was what I wanted, but I decided that my hubby would probably ring my neck (my phone didn’t know that expression either…) if I spent $48 on a water bottle. However, they had a different brand called Bobble Bottles. They weren’t as expensive and had really pretty designs, but did the same thing; they’re double-walled stainless steel and keep drinks cold for 24hours or hot for 12. Also, and I love this feature, there is no condensation!! Yay! No more wet mess and too cold to hold onto any longer! And…it’s pretty. Which is, you know, nice!  That was the one thing I was keeping my eyes peeled for today. I get such a dry mouth from my medications that I generally have a water bottle with me. Also, for the same reason, I keep one beside my bed at night. Now, assuming it works, and so far it is, I won’t have to drink warm water through the night. Again, yay! I love spending time with my sweet girl. We always laugh and have lots of fun together. She’s my mini-me and I love her so. She makes me laugh with her quirky sense of humour. We often get the giggles together. We cracked up and both felt guilty as we were pigging out because we were “starving”, but then, as we were stuffing our faces, we drove by a poor guy with a sign that said “starving and homeless”. Probably had to be there, but it was so funny!  I almost gave him my fries, but felt too awkward to do it. See, here comes the guilt! Just thinking about it makes me feel bad…We’re definitely a lot alike, her and I. When she talks about her friends, it reminds me of when I was young. I’m thankful for our day together. She’s 14 and is still happy spending the day with me, which is nice. She never really did the embarrassed to be seen with me thing that people talk about, although neither did my oldest, maybe it doesn’t really happen, or it still could happen I guess. Who knows? Time will tell. Hmmm…I think I’m rambling now. Sorry. I’m tired and feel yucky! I’m going to head to bed. (Unintentional rhyming…)

Night all.💤 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Not feeling great tonight. We went to mom and dad’s for dinner today. Other than random overheating and sweating, which I believe is due to my medication, I felt fine during the day and, for the most part, at their house. Nearing the time we were leaving I started to feel nauseous and yucky. I wish I knew why I get this way. I hate it so much! I’d blame my meds for this too, however it’s not something that continuously bothers me or even happens all the time. I’ve had meds make me feel nauseous in the past and the feeling was pretty much constant, not off and on. I hate the feeling though. You just don’t want to do anything at all, except maybe lie down… It’s not the end of the world or anything, it’s just an unpleasant way to feel. We had a nice visit. My parents had a cake for my daughter since they weren’t here for her birthday, which was super sweet of them. They bought her a gift card for LuLu, which was what she’s really been wanting. Hopefully with that gift card, combined with another she got from a friend (for any store in Southgate mall), plus the cash she received, she should be able to at least buy a headband or perhaps a pair of socks…LOL!!! Just kidding! She’s been wanting something from there forever and I always tell her that it’s too expensive. If she wants to spend her own money there it’s her choice. So, assuming this nausea passes, we’re going shopping together tomorrow. I was a bit shocked by how much some of these parents spend for a friend’s  birthday. After her dance friends birthday party she received about $140 cash, $150 in gift cards, plus some gifts!! I mean, maybe I’m cheap or something, but I found it a little over the top to be honest. Unless I’m just the cheap mom. We usually spend from about $20 – $30 on gifts for friends, for the kids. However, the majority of these gifts averaged about $40 or higher. Maybe I am just the cheap one. I don’t know, but in my opinion that’s too much. Especially for just casual friends. I can see maybe spending more if it were for her best friend, but I don’t see myself going over $40. My oldest daughter didn’t care at all about “brand names”, but my younger one does more. Well, she worries quite a bit about what people think about her. I have talked to her about it numerous times. It worries me that she cares so much about what others think. I think it bugs me so much because I know that she got it from me. My hubby couldn’t care less what people think about him or what he has to say. He truly doesn’t care! It was one of the things that I liked about him when we first met. He wasn’t afraid to say what he’s thinking and wouldn’t dream of apologizing for who he is. He’s kind of always been like take it or leave it, like me or don’t I don’t care. On the other hand, I’ve always worried about what others think and I’ve had or perhaps have some issues with self-esteem and confidence. I always worry about being judged or about if people are going to like me or not. I’ve definitely gotten better. I understand that I am who I am and I’m not changing myself for someone. However, to be honest, I still want people to like me and I worry about my weight and what others think. I now know that generally the person doing the judging tend to show you more about themselves and usually it’s their issue, not your own. I know that “mean” people are usually  covering up their own issues with their behaviour. It’s usually a “them” problem, not mine. I just worry about my daughter and the age she’s at – the prime age for meanness…I know what it’s like, always worrying about what others are thinking and feeling like you never quite measure up to other people’s standards. I do think her dance helps with confidence, I mean she’s doing a solo this year – going out on that dance floor in front of judges by herself. She’s not cowering awkwardly in a corner with no friends, I just know she has anxiety about it and I wish I could protect her, but wherever she goes in life, she’s going to run into mean, judgmental people and she needs to learn to stand up for herself. I may be worrying for nothing, but I am the one who taught her how to worry – right?! She learned from a master worrier. I think I learned it from my mom, who also has improved. I just wished she’d worry a bit less about what my sister thinks and/or says, because I know it hurts her. And my mom is who she is and she doesn’t need to change that for my sister or anyone. I know she doesn’t want to rock the boat, but it bugs me when my sister says things to her and she doesn’t even seem to see or care (?!) about how her words affect my mom. Then my mom over-tries to make her happy and I’m not sure if my sister even notices or realizes. Oh well. Not my problem I guess. I love them both and I’m going to stop talking about it on here, before I upset or offend anyone; which I promise is not my intention!! My point is that I learned the worrying. And, my mom got it from a mother who basically brought them up with the belief that appearance is everything and everyone looking in had better think all is perfect!! Ah family! Gotta love them😘

Any-who, I’m just feeling gross, so I’m going to head to bed now. 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

From the vault…

Beauty is everywhere. Life is beauty. It is in the sky, in the land, in our hearts, in our homes…it is everywhere if you open yourself to it. It invigorates and calms. It creates peace, joy and abundance. Beauty is the smell after a rainfall, it is colourless or a rainbow. Beauty is not violent or aggressive. Beauty need not be defined or judged. Beauty is not selfish or cruel. Beauty invokes love and peacefulness. It is in a child’s bubbling laughter or in the big, brown eyes of a doe. Beauty is available to us in countless ways and may be different to each one of us, dependent upon our beliefs, behaviours, feelings and experiences; our perception. There is no wrong or right, beauty simply is. Once recognized it is free to enjoy, to share, to gaze at, to embrace, to meditate upon, to inspire. Please open yourself to the beauty in the world. Allow it to move you, to awaken your spirit, to open your soul and to see God everywhere in everything. 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I love the Wayne Dyer book that I’m currently reading called, ” Living An Inspired Life. Your Ultimate Calling.” This paragraph in particular really resonates with me, likely because I love reading information about the law of attraction, as well as the idea of living your life “in spirit.”  He states:

“If we can remember that we’re responsible for what we’re attracting, we can then eliminate the negative energy we wallow in. If what we desire is to be inspired and feel joy, but the opposite keeps showing up, rather than cursing fate, we can view ourselves as simply being out of creative vibrational alignment.  We can shift our vibrations, in the form of thoughts, to those that are more harmonious with our desires, and we can then begin to take the small steps necessary for our inspiration to be sensed. Source energy will cooperate with us when we seek it energetically-moreover, we can begin to reasses our lives for misaligned attractions and imagined bad luck…

When we feel peaceful within, we begin to attract more of the peace we desire because we’re functioning from a spiritual place of peace. When we engage Spirit, we regain the power of our ultimate Source.”

To deep? Confusing? Heavy??  I just love it!!  (I added the italics to some of those statements to emphasize the fact that WE have control over our own lives.) It is through our thoughts, beliefs and actions that we can consciously choose how we want to live our lives. Do you want to always play the blame game, where it’s never your fault? Do you want to feel down, depressed, angry or out of sorts? Or do you want to choose to live your life with passion, purpose and meaning? Do you want to know you’re true calling? Do you want to live in spirit;  that higher vibrational shift within that keeps us in spirit?  The beautiful thing is, the choice is yours. You can continue moving along, day by day, doing all of your mundane tasks that need to get done. Slumping around feeling frustrated and sensing something’s missing in your life. Most of us know on some level that there should be more to life. Something purposeful. There’s that yearning in the pit of your stomach for something more. You can’t quite figure out what, but you know there should be more to life than just working, slumping in front of the tv, going to bed, waking up the next day and doing it all over again. Life should be about passion and joy. Peace and faith. Service and devotion.  Love.

This is what I’m going to do. You should try to as well. Start to pay conscious attention to your thoughts. If you find yourself spewing out the negativity. Go ahead and correct yourself. Out loud if you can. Replace those negative thoughts, which slow down your vibrations, with something positive. If you’re not sure what to say just say what Wayne Dyer writes, “I want to feel good, so I’ll allow my natural connection to well-being to take over right now.” I know I have a crap load of negative thoughts, self-criticism, anxiety, and much more. I need to stop focussing on the negative and re-focus on more positive, joy-filled things. 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Reaching, straining, can’t get it right.
Screaming, crying, tired of this fight.
Hoping, praying, all will work out.
Worrying, untrusting, filled with doubt.
Maddening, infuriating, decisions poorly made.
Manipulating, blindsided, wishing we had stayed.
Persistent, unresolved, leaves it in the air.
Angered, abandoned, if only life were fair. 
Relentless, unyielding, she’s only just a kid. 

Useless, futile, don’t you know what you did??

JKC

Your “solution” is:

unusable, ineffectual, unhelpful, inutile, discarded, unserviceable, unavailing, junked, unprofitable, waste, scrap, cast-off, worthless, pointless, superfluous, meaningless, irrelevant, ineffective, obsolete, nonsensical, unnecessary, counterproductive, unproductive, usefless, fruitless, lame, inoperative, impractical, unworkable, hopeless, and mindless‼️ IT’S JUST PLAIN GARBAGE ‼️

Still ANGRY at my daughter’s principal. Argh!!!!  

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I’m so angry right now! I just had a full page written and this stupid program managed to delete it all somehow. It’s just gone! I don’t know why or where. I do know it makes me super frustrated!!

Here’s the gist:

My son starts grade one tomorrow! I can’t even believe it! How can that be possible – he’s supposed to be my baby!  Time just flies…

My daughter starts grade nine tomorrow. She’s trying not to puke, as I write this! Last year she started to have a bit of anxiety. She ended up missing too much school. There would be nights when she was in tears begging me not to make her go to school. It was awful! Then, closer to the end of the year her close friends started to make mean comments to her and they’d leave her out of things or just “forget” to phone her. She was pretty upset about it. After all, she’s been close friends with these girls since playschool and it wasn’t how they normally behaved. To top it all off, there was this one teacher in her school who tended to be hard on her, single her out for things or just be nasty to her. If I would write a note to explain why she missed a class or something, he would make really loud wise-cracks like, “still too young to fight your own battles eh?!” He just made her super uncomfortable with the same loud “jokes” and comments. And he’d do mean things like put all three of her close friends together for a group project and intentionally exclude her and put her with a couple of the boys. He was loud and obnoxious about his opinion with regard to her missing school for dance competitions. However, he took the whole class to the arena during class time to watch hockey, if the boys in her class were gone for a tournament. Talk about your double standards!! She was so done with her school! We thought we’d be okay, because in our town there are some grade nines in the high school and some at her current school. The school that your child attends is decided by your address in town. We thought we’d be fine since last year our neightbour’s daughter was allowed to go to the high school. But apparently, no. She’s not allowed because of our place of residence. (Who knows why they let the neighbor!?) So, the principle kindly sets up a meeting with us to talk with my daughter and I to  talk about the difficulties she was concerned about, her anxiety, etc. That’s pretty much all that I can say, because our conversation was,”confidential.” In the end, they said she’d be in a class with one of her three best friends and another girl who is super sweet.  She’s just one of those kids who’s kind and nice to everyone!  So my daughter left the meeting feeling better about attending the school and figured she could get through one last year there. Then this afternoon the principle calls me to tell me (this is after the meet the teacher night has already occurred and the girls were so excited about being together.) that she had to make a change and Kaysi is no longer in a class with any of her friends!!!!!! She feels like puking right now because she is scared to go to school tomorrow. Now she will miss moments and new memories with her friends and she will be left out because she won’t even be there!! Apparently “it’s out of her hands, but they’ll do anything to help her with her anxiety.” I told the principle that it will just serve to drift them further apart and the girls will automatically be keeping her out of things. Just because they won’t be together a lot…(My daughter would murder me if she knew that I was writing about this, but I’m sorry because it’s all that on my mind. I’m just so angry! Stupid f…ing dumb lady! Huh…I’m really vibrating with fury!!) What was the point in meeting with us and changing things around if she wasn’t going to follow through.  To say the least, I’m quite frustrated by the whole thing!!!And now I’m exhausted and I can’t even keep my eyes open and I have an early morning tomorrow. So I’d better stop my frustrated venting and get to bed. Goodnight all💤💤💤💤💤l

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Is the word “inspired” the root word for”in spirit”or the other way around, “inspired” came from the expression “in spirit”??  Anyone know? Or are they just similar but neither is a root word for the other?  I’m reading a Wayne Dyer book about living an inspired life. He talks a lot about being “in spirit” and says when you are “inspired” you are “in spirit”. I am just trying to figure it all out in my head. If they are similar just due to having the same letters or is it something more. When I’m “in spirit” I’m residing at a higher vibration, ie. Energy-wise. Okay. That was worded horribly! Gosh, no wonder Wayne Dyer writes about it, not me – lol! I’ve been seeing that theme show up repeatedly in different books, things I’ve read online, all over etc.  I don’t believe in those kind of coincidences. I’m obviously meant to learn about life energy and living my life “in spirit” at a high vibration. I can feel when I’m there or not. Can anyone else? Certain times, when writing I feel almost as if I’m floating and the words are just flying out of me and onto the paper or my iPad, without really clear thought. It just flows out of me.  

I have a journal, well, I have numerous journals. I’m kind of a collector of beautiful journals. Often they’re so nice, I don’t want to write in them, I treasure them,  if you know what I mean. What I was saying is I have a specific, special, journal that I write in or rather, God writes in, through me. I’ve only told one person about this. I thought that maybe people would think I’m crazy!! I think they call it “automatic writing.” My handwriting physically changes while I am experiencing “automatic writing.”The handwriting doesn’t even slightly resemble mine, it doesn’t look a thing like my handwriting!!!  And I have no memory of what I wrote during those sacred moments of automatic writing!

Here’s the definition:

noun: automatic writing

Writing said to be produced by a spiritual, occult, or subconscious agency rather than by the conscious intention of the writer.

Or

Automatic writing or psychography: 

Is an alleged psychic ability allowing a person to produce written words without consciously writing. The words are claimed to arise from a subconscious, spiritual or supernatural source.

I went on a retreat once and during the weekend my automatic writing actually happened with many people around. Crazy right! God gave me my life purpose!! (Now you are definitely thinking I’ve gone off my rocker, but it’s all true.) I can write pages and pages in this journal. It’s weird. I feel this strange pull to write. And, even weirder, my hand gets this weird ache just before and while I’m writing.  Like it’s telling me it’s time to write. I do think I’m often “in spirit” while writing my blog posts. As readers you must be able to tell the good, flowing, on the ball writing, compared to just grasping at anything, trying to come up with an idea to write about. The good ones aren’t thought out, they just flow out! It’s not quite all the way to automatic writing, but it’s writing while I’m in that higher vibrational state. Which is when I produce my best work. The automatic writing is in that one journal I haven’t shown to anyone. It makes me feel a bit freaked out. It’s like God is passing me the torch and saying “write my child.” If I allow myself to think about it too much while it’s happening, it will stop.  That sounded confusing – lol!  I basically mean, don’t overthink it, just believe and trust. I can’t let my own thoughts and opinions get in the way of God’s words. I feel so nervous admitting that. However, I feel like I haven’t taken the step that God wants me to take, which is sharing his words. But who am I to think I’m so special that I’ve been chosen to be granted this gift. Won’t people rally and rail against me?? I don’t even know what my own husband would think about all of this. I just know that I’ve been called upon to write. My words, God’s words, just words. Writing is my gig. Maybe it’s not about being special or being chosen. It could just be that I am open to being “in spirit” and at a higher vibration, and that I believe these things to be true, which makes me more susceptible. Who knows why it happens!?  It just does. I don’t know what to do with that journal once it’s completed. Hand it out or publish as “God’s word”…I’d likely be ridiculed and also have many angry people asking what I ask myself…”who am I to be given such a gift” and “who do you think you are?? God??”  Please believe me when I say that I’m not in any way, shape or form trying to say that I’m God! It’s not like that at all!  It’s just that God’s words flow through me and out of my pen onto the paper. Period. I’m not the creator I’m just the scribe. The Spirit Scribe…and now you know the true reason for the name of my blog. Please, if you think I’ve gone Coo-Coo, don’t ridicule or judge me with hatred. Because the biggest themes that come out while I’m automatic writing are about serving others and love for self and others. It’s definitely not about me. Nor is it about hatred, judgement or anger. It is about peace and love and service. If my true purpose is to write God’s words, I had to tell my readers something so huge!! (My readers…like I have such a long list of readers…)

I’m going to stop for now, to let everyone process this newfound information about my potential craziness!! LOL

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I’m actually writing before midnight! Miracles do happen 😘  Seriously, starting to write at 11:00 is early for me. I don’t know why I always write late at night, but I almost always do so. Strange, because I used to be a bit of an early bird. Well, maybe not really early, but I’d usually be in bed around now, not just beginning to write! I’m glad it’s early because I’m super tired! It’s my youngest daughter’s birthday today. I can’t believe she’s 14!!! ❤️Happy Birthday my sweet! I love you so very very much❤️It’s such a strange thing, age. I feel like, “hey! When did you grow up so much!?” I love the conversations that you can have with your kids once they get older. They have opinions and insights. You can stop watching only animated stuff, or at least you no longer have to wait until they’re in bed before watching certain tv shows. Having teens is so different than little ones. Although, we do have our 6 year old. He’s got a while before we get that way with him. Well, actually, we talk to all of our kids in the same manner, for the most part anyway. We were never big on “baby-talk”, if you know what I mean. Nope. Even when they were little, we tried not to baby our kids too much. I’m not talking about love, we love our children dearly, I’m talking about doing everything for them and talking to them like they’re perpetually 2 years old. Kids aren’t going to learn to do anything on their own if they’re treated that way forever. I find myself saying to my kids, fairly often, “I’m your mom, not your slave!” I’m probably not alone in that regard. If my kids had it their way, I’d wait on them hand and foot…forget that! (What a weird expression…hand and foot…did I even use it correctly??) So, for my daughter’s birthday we went school supply shopping. Fun fun! Talk about leaving it to the last minute! We didn’t yet know what school our youngest daughter would be attending and August just seemed to fly by. So, just in time, we got the shopping finished this afternoon. I actually went into Chapters without buying something for myself!! That is nothing short of a miracle!! Book stores are my weakness. I could happily live in a book store!! Especially in one of those huge Chapters stores!! I just love them. I could just touch books and look at books and read books all day long! Wow! My brain is all over tonight. I’m feeling super tired, even though it’s fairly early for me. I’m not used to getting up early, but I had to today. So I keep practically falling asleep while writing. Which is probably why I’m jumping all over the place and talks about a bunch of different things. So sorry. I need some sleep though, so I’m going to hit the hay!! Goodnight 😴

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Today was a lazy Sunday. I was feeling so tired out today. I actually had a nap this afternoon for a couple hours! It’s probably from all of the prep (cleaning, organizing, etc) for my daughter’s birthday party yesterday. Our house hadn’t had a good, real cleaning in too long, so we cleaned the main floor and basement- even though it took forever. We sure have a lot of stuff to go through! We barely scratched the surface! We have so much that’s accumulated over the years. It sometimes freaks me out, because I feel like all of our junk is probably a fire-hazard! I’m the “saver” in the family, or, you know the “pack-rat” who keeps everything “for sentimental reasons.” I’ve let it get to the point of being overwhelmed with stuff. Whenever Jo comes to help me clean, she usually leaves with her van filled to the brim with stuff. She’s really good at helping me go through things. She’d be proud to see how the upstairs closet looks – without her help! I even had counter showing in the kitchen and my art corner finished. I know that they were just kids coming over, but it was so bad that it’s embarrassing!! I try to keep up, but I find myself always slipping and then I feel like I blink and it’s suddenly a mess again. It happens too easily. We’re trying to get on top of our kids too! I mean the girls are 19 and (as of tomorrow) 14!! That is definitely old enough to clean the kitchen or tidy up. We don’t ask that much of them, just the dishes, their rooms and their bathroom…the only daily chore is really the dishes. They can’t even stay on top of that without us having to nag at them about it, again and again. It’s frustrating, to say the least. My hubby and I are at he end of our rope with our oldest. It’s been a year since she graduated and she’s done what?? Nothing!!! Soooo frustrating! She thinks it should be exactly equal chore-wise between her and her sister. She is constantly playing the “it’s not fair” card, which gets super tiresome. She’s five years older, out of school for a year and doing what exactly??? NOTHING!! That’s what, absolutely nothing! We need to light a fire under that girls ass. She has no motivation to do anything. No passion, nothing. She spent the last year (the entire year) working for a whole two months and finishing her social class. That’s it. And she complains when she needs to help out and her sister isn’t. Even if her sister is in school, dancing and doing homework. She still thinks things should be “fair”! Well, life’s not fair my dear. It’s not. You’re the older one by five years and you do nothing!! Even when we point out how much busier her younger sister is, she doesn’t care, it’s just not fair. Well, where I am right now?? Suck it up honey!!! And get those f…ing dishes washed before I lose it!! Well, then. Look at me venting! Lol! Totally wasn’t my intention when I started writing tonight. I guess it’s been bothering me more than I thought.  My husband is even more bothered by it. If I’m at the end of my rope, well, he already fell off the rope. There’s nothing left, no leeway whatsoever. I think he’s super close to losing it on her. She’s always, “I know, I know, get a job, bla bla bla…”  The attitude mixed with the utter laziness is just done for him. He’s so ready to snap. I’m not sure I want to witness it either. They have very similar, very stubborn personalities. I don’t know if she realizes how far she’s pushed him. However, someday soon, she’s going to find out. I might not want to be in the room or house on that day…lol.  She doesn’t seem to care about anything anymore. I want her to find something that draws the passion from her, but we’ve been unable to find anything. I try to talk to her about it. But, she just gets super defensive and upset, even if I’m talking to her in an attempt to help her look for jobs. Asking her what she wants and what appeals to her and she’s always saying, “I don’t know!” Well, school starts this week and she needs to figure out what she’s doing this year, because sitting on the couch watching tv is no longer going to be an option. She needs to find something. If she doesn’t want to find something she’s passionate about, work at bloody McDonalds for all I care. Just do something, anything!!! Well, now that my venting session is complete, I should probably get to bed. It’s already 12:35! I’m beat! Goodnight my friends.

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”