A day, then a week, then a month, all fly by

Time just keeps moving, 

You can’t question why

A life lived with meaning, with purpose, is ready

For time to keep moving

At a pace that is steady 

But life filled with should-haves, with things left to do

Prays that time will stop moving

Or slow a beat or two 

Be here and be present and live in the now

Then as time keeps on moving

You won’t wonder how

Do more than just dream and say no, not yet

Time won’t stop moving

Live your dreams without regret

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I had a really nice visit with my best friend since grade school. We met for lunch at Milestones. It was so nice to see her! She gave me four full garbage bags of clothing for my son!! It couldn’t have come at a better time! He’s just grown a lot and most of his pants are at that stage where they start to look funny, because they’re too short. So thank you so much Jo! You are a blessing in my life and I am super honoured to have you as a friend!!

I wonder if I need to change the way I write or what I write about. I’m not getting a whole lot of readers these days. I’m pretty much just using this as a journal. Rattling off what I did that day, how I’m feeling or what my kids are or aren’t doing. Who really wants to read that?? I’m not trying to be negative and down on myself or anything, but I really have no audience. (Other than a couple faithful readers, like my mom and dad and best friend, Jo). Im just trying to be a realist about it and realistically, I have practically no readers!!  I’m basically writing to myself. Is it weird?! When I first started I had quite a few readers everyday. I mean not thousands or anything, but at least it was more than three. I’m just not sure people really want to hear how my day went, how I’m feeling, bla bla bla. I enjoy the writing that I’ve been doing, but I need to decide if I’m writing for myself or if I’m trying to build an actual name for myself, to get people to “follow” or “subscribe” or whatever it’s called. I mean every now and then I write about certain facts about chronic pain or TN specifically, but other than that it’s just me and my rambling. I don’t have specific topics or anything that people could search to find my writing. So, that leaves the biggest question…Why am I doing this? I originally began because I was so sick and depressed and I was pretty close to rock bottom and I knew that I needed to do something to get out of the dark place I was living in. For those who’ve been reading my posts all along, it’s probably obvious to see the change in the tone of my writing. When I was depressed it was very negative, low, sad, just down; I was clearly depressed. It wasn’t an overnight change in me, it was gradual, which is reflected in my writing. People no longer look at me with pity or tell me that my posts are too sad to read, because they make them cry. So I originally wanted to write about my life with TN, living with severe chronic pain and an invisible illness. What emerges was a very depressed and struggling person. I moved through those struggles and am still writing about nothing or whatever is on my mind. I don’t know. What I’m trying to say is, do you (all three of you) think I should be writing about certain specific topics? Searchable topics or information?? I’m just thinking about if I truly want to write for others to read and enjoy, should I change how I’ve been doing my blog?? 
To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Sorry for the bad post yesterday! I was super tired and I had a few drinks in me!! Enough to make me tipsy. So I ended up writing a pretty crappy post! But, hey, at least I remembered to write something! 

I’ve been thinking about writing a book, a book about Angels. (Do I capitalize that “A”?? I’m not sure if I’m supposed to, but I did anyway.) it’s just been running through my head. A story about a girl who ends up between two Angels. A good “white” or “light” Angel and a “dark” or “black” Angel. There’s more to it than that, but it’s just been stuck in my head. I’d name the girl,”Sharry”. I don’t really know why, but that is the name that keeps popping up in my head. She’s human, but for some reason she can fly, which is how she meets the Angels. I don’t have a lot of details yet, just ideas flowing through my head. She’s not going to know which side to “choose”, because she loves things about both of the Angels. One may be her guardian Angel. And the dark one saves her, which is how she initially meets him. She needs the guardian because there’s a prophecy about a human girl who can fly (I don’t have all of the details in my head yet) and an evil/nasty  fallen Angel who is hell bent on getting to her and ensuring the prophecy occurs. He thinks it’s a key that will unlock the gates to heaven, so he and his brothers/sisters can attack the white Angels and retake heaven.  She has to fly between the sun and the moon on the eve of the summer solstice the instance of the eclipse bla bla bla (or something like that…)

Sharry rolled over and groggily opened her eyes while yawning, she was not a morning person!!  She glanced across her room, saw Jake sitting at her desk, on her computer. “Oh’! Good morning love.” She said while yawning. Then she suddenly shot up straight in her bed, “Oh my God,” she didn’t even notice him cringe at her blasphemy. “Jake, what are you doing here! If my mom finds you in here she’s going to kill me!!” “Don’t worry hon! Like I told you last night, I’ll just make myself invisible if she comes up. It’s fine.” Jake tried to calm her down, but she looked utterly lost and confused. “Oh Shar. I know it’s a lot to take in, but don’t worry, I’ll be with you every step of the way!” Sharry looked at him, tired and confused, she asked, “why.are.you.here??” “Remember,” jake answered, “Lucifer seems to be getting close and, as your guardian Angel, well you’re stuck with me hon! I can’t let you out of my sight!” “My h, there’s been a bit of a change of plans. Michael wants me to start going over some of the abilities testing and flying, so we can begin to get you more comfortable with it.” “Flying…?? Angels…??” Sharry mumbled to herself, “it wasn’t a dream?? Well shit…”  “Pardon me?” Jake said. Sharry looked over at Jake, “oh nothing.”  “You know, Michael thinks you’re one of the stronger niphilims, he’s pretty sure that you can fly! I can’t wait, the two of us soaring above the city, holding hands, going wherever?!” Jake said. “Well, we can’t do that yet. You know, I can’t wait until we find Lucifer and this whole mess is over!!” “Me fly??” Sharry thought, “but I’m not a fan of heights!!” 

Sharry didn’t  know if she could fly, even after last night, believing in Angels seemed crazy!!  And now here she was smack in the middle of this ancient prophecy…!! Was this really happening?? Suddenly her blonde, blue-eyed boyfriend has wings!!! And as crazy as that all sounds he wanted her to fly! Sharry, “me fly!!??”she said, a little too loudly. “Are you losing your mind!!  You know me and heights! What am I going to do?!” Then Jake stood up and walked over to where she was sitting up in her bed, he grabbed her hands and knelt before her, and said,”try not to be afraid,” interrupting, she said,”Are you crazy??!!” “Shhhhh…”, he said. “You just need to look in my eyes, and trust me.  Everything’s going to be okay.” He said calmly,”It’s me, Jake, and I’m not going to hurt you.”Then he pulled his shirt off.  Sharry didn’t know if she should look at him or the ground, she felt her her face turning red, “Gooodness, he’s ripped!!” She thought to herself. “Uh, What are you doing?” She asked him. He stood up, spread his long arms wide and between his arms, attached to his torso and back, were two incredible, beautiful, magnificent white wings. “Y’you h’, hav’, have wings!!!” Sharry squealed!! “WINGS!!!!” “O.M.G!!” “Jake!!” “You really have wings!!” “I was trying to convince myself that it wasn’t real. That it was all just a bad dream. But, nope…you really and truly have wings!!” Jake smiled, his beautiful, mischievous smile that Was. So. Jake! And said, “well love, sorry to disappoint, but it wasn’t a dream or a nightmare…it was last night!” Full of his usual charm, of course. Sharry was completely speechless! “Jake. Has. Wings.” She thought, over and over as she nervously paced in the circle of his wings. “Am I losing my mind?” “What is going on??” She thought, “this is really happening, holy cow, it was real!!” Part of her tried to decide if she was going to turn and run as fast as she possibly could or if she was going to gaze at him forever…Jake nudged his hand up under her chin, then leaned in and kissed her like they always had and she felt like they always would. Sharry couldn’t help herself and she naturally leaned into him and opened her mouth to his. “Yes. This is still my Jake.” She thought, as he wrapped his arms, and immaculate wings, around her. She had never before felt so wholy and completely loved;  she had never felt as safe as she did now, in his embrace. “Holy Shit!!” “I’m in love with an Angel!!” She screamed in her head! Her body aching to move into him, she reluctantly pulled away and whispered to him, “What’s going on??!””How is this possible?””Your wings are incredible!!” “Just. Just. How is this happening?””This isn’t happening…I’m asleep! That’s all…it’s just a silly nightmare and I’m going to wake up.” “NOW!” “C’Mon.” “Wake up!” Then she took a deep breath and asked him, “Is. This. Real??” Jake smiled and nodded, “Y’up!” “As real as it can get!” “How?” she asked. “What!””What is happening?” she asked again.  “How can you be an Angel? How can Michael be an Angel? How is all of this even possible?”she shrieked a little too highly.  Jake put his hands on her shoulders, “Just calm down!” “Just take a deep breath!”he said. “Once again, last night was real!! You’re not going crazy. Michael and I are Angels and you’re one of the nephilim, a half Angel.  

Suddenly, they heard, “honey? Are you awake? Who are you talking to?” “Shit! It’s my mom!!” Sharry said. Jake instantly disappeared, just as her door opened and her mom walked into her room. “Good morning honey,” her mom said, “I bought I heard you talking to someone?” Her mom said. “Oh, I was talking to Jake on speaker phone. We’re going out soon. But I’m starving. I need to grab a bite before he gets here.” Sharry replied. “Let’s go downstairs for breakfast. I’ll make us up some pancakes.” Her mom said. “Awesome mom! Thanks. I’ll be down in five. I’m just going to get dressed.” Said Sharry. “Okay honey, see you in a few minutes.” Her mom kissed her on the cheek, then closed her door and went back downstairs.  Sharry flopped back onto her bed, so relieved that her mom hadn’t seen Jake in all his beautiful Angel glory!! “You need to show up at the front door in about 15 minutes or so, then no one will suspect a thing,” Sharry said to Jake. “Sure!” He said, “see you in a few!!”

About 15 or so minutes later, as Sharry was finishing her pancakes, he doorbell rang. Sharry opened the door and Jake stepped in, no longer obviously looking like an Angel. “Mom!” Sharry yelled, “I’m going out with Jake.” They went outside and shut the door. “Okay, now let’s just get somewhere more comfortable. Where we can talk uninterrupted. Privately.” Then he scooped her up into his arms and he Started. To. FLY!! “Oh. My. Goodness! I’m going to be sick!!  I can’t open my eyes!!” “It’s okay”, Jake said, in a calm and collected manner. Here she was. Freaking. Out!!! And Jake was calmly smiling at her. “Where are we going??” “Where are you taking me to??” Sharry hollered! “Don’t worry.” “We’re almost there.” Jake smiled. “Here we go.” he said. Then he set her down on the most comfortable down duvet she had ever felt. He leaned back and Sharry looked around. When she saw where she was, she started screaming uncontrollably! “Shhh…Shhh…Shhh…!” He said. “You’re perfectly safe!” “These clouds are strong and could hold up your entire family!” “Gee’ All two of us??” Sharry said. “How comforting!” They both shared a nervous laugh. “Sooo…”Sharry said,”Did I ever tell you that I’m afraid of heights??” “It’s something you’re going to have to work on hon. Sorry to say it, but it’s the truth Shar.”  Jake replied.  Actually, it’s beautiful up here. It’s like I’m dreaming!” She whispered. “Just don’t you dare leave me up here.” “Please! Not even as a joke!! Like I’m pretty sure Michael would!!” “Of course not!”he exclaimed! “Sharry. I love you!” He said “Everything that I have done, has been done to protect you!” “With someone like Lucifer after you…well.  It was time for Michael to let you know. He saw that I wasn’t doing it and it needed to be done.  You needed to know the truth. So that we can train you and protect you and keep you safe. And so that you can learn to protect yourself!” Jake looked serious, “Michael was right, I waited too long.”

I have to stop before I write all night. My hand hurts!! Goodnight all! 💤😴💤😴💤😴

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I have too apologize about this, but I’m too tired/drank too much to write a great post tonight. Feeling right at the edge, or perhaps it’s on the edge. I mean if I had another drink, I’d have too much, but if I stop now, I should be okay. Which is why I’m upstairs writing this and not downstairs with my hubby who thinks he wants to get this party started, but is snoring on the couch sooo loudly that I’m surprised he hasn’t woke up the neighbours! All that’s in my head right now is a new, creepy show that Tay and I’ve gotten into on Netflix, that’s called “Supernatural.”  It’s got a lot of creepy episodes. I’m not really sure what the actual age is that you have to be in order to watch this show. However, it should be 18+. And, that’s not due to sexually explicit language or anything like that, more so because of the super creepy content; it goes from werewolves to spirits to demons to vampires…pretty much anything supernatural that you can think of, with a lot of language around the negative objects, people, stuff going on. It gets pretty or freaky. There are a couple episodes that are more funny than what you’d expect from this type of show.  Different scenes from it have been playing in my head over and over.   I try to change things around in my mind and make them less scary, but I just haven’t gotten this show out of my head and I have to counter-act it somehow. Or, repeatedly, tell myself that it isn’t real. It isn’t real. It isn’t real!!  Generally I don’t get freaked out too easily, but with this show, I’ve had moments where I wonder why I’m even watching it and then the episodes will get better, right when I’m thinking about no longer watching it. However, the truth is, that I’m so interested in the story-line right now that it’d be difficult to stop watching it. I’m kind-of hooked! I’m just making sure that I’m thinking positive things whenever I’m not watching it! 

Anywho! How’d I start talking about this, when all I wanted to do was write a bit about tonight, and then go to bed…strange where the mind takes you! 

Huh…I think that I got most of my writing  finished for the night. I say this because I just fell asleep for 20 minutes writing this and I should just go hit the hay. At least I feel less tipsy now. I didn’t even have that much to drink. I guess I’m just not totally used to it. I generally have no life.  And maybe have a glass of wine now and then. So four or five ciders is a lot for me!  I’m gonna hit the hay! Night all😘

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Feeling super tired tonight. Actually, I felt pretty beat all day! I think I stayed up too late last night writing my post and then writing down my book idea, that I got from last night’s writing. I had so much pouring out of me, that I started to write everything down in my “notes” on my phone. By the time I finally went to bed, it was too too late. Did you know that it’s pretty normal to get the urge to write at night? There are supposedly many authors who sleep late in the day and stay up late at night writing. I do find that it’s when I produce more of my writing, especially the “good” stuff. Well, not tonight. Nope! Tonight I’m just doing a super short post and going to bed. I’m just soooo sleepy and tomorrow may end up being a late night. My hubby plays football for a fun league in the summer and into the fall a bit. After tomorrow’s game, we are having everyone over here for a post game BBQ. It may end up being just a few people, or it could turn into something bigger. So far not many people have responded about attending.  However, the same was true last year, except a bunch came at the last minute. So, I’m not really sure what to expect. We’ll just have to play it by ear and see how things go, I guess. There’s nothing much else I can do. I still have some more cleaning to get done, but not too much. Our house is actually pretty tidy right now, knock on wood! Because I need to feel well and be able to function tomorrow, I am going to cut things short tonight. I need to make sure I get enough rest, so that I can function well tomorrow. So, on that note, I’m really going to hit the bed. Night all💤💤💤

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.””Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Declaring her love for him with a strange mixture

Of veiled threats and promises.

Dripping with pain and regret.

Waiting for his satirical response.

Never straight language received from him.

Just ridicule, mockery and sarcasm drip from his mouth!

Wondering why her heart chooses the pain,

Sensing she lost herself years ago.

She clings to the idea of him, feeling a shell of a person.

Needing him to fill her emptiness with something warm and smooth,

He high fives her and hands her a shot of whiskey.  

Glaring at his chosen ignorance she shoots him a look then bows her head.

Wondering how much more she can handle.

He chooses that moment to smile his dark smile,

The one that drew her into this trouble in the beginning.

His dark smile, dark eyes, dark secrets…

Should she have known that all of that darkness was a sign?

Perhaps a warning bell chiming his arrival?

It’s too late for her to look back at those times, so long ago…

Now she’s full of the dark smiles too, he taught her how not to feel!

Ironic isn’t it, when all she had wanted on that first night,

Was someone to make her feel – something, anything to fill the emptiness.

She thinks maybe he’s right about the whiskey and she shoots it back.

Slams the glass down, earning another dark grin from him.

This time she grins back. 

Thinking, knowing that there’s gotta be something better than this.

She scrapes up the courage and goes to stand,

 Just as she stands and he does the same,

He moves towards her and pulls her into his arms.

She tenses then melts and draws in his musky smell.

Will this be the last time she gets to do that?

They say you can’t try to change someone,

But, man! If he could only grow a bigger heart…

She knows what’s on his mind and wants to melt into him.

Should she leave the leaving for another day?

He senses she’s not with him and draws back to look at her face.

He sees something different in her eyes,

Something he’s never seen before and fear bubbles up his throat.

He knew from the start she was too good for him!

Why’d he have to go and fall in love with her!

He’s never found himself in this situation.

Actually thought the possibility of it ever happening was negligible.

Looking into her hazel eyes he whispers the word, “no”

He sees the tears forming in her eyes.

He catches the first tear with his finger.

He feels weak kneed and thinks that he may collapse without her.

In a shaky voice he repeats his sentiment, “no please.”

She’s unable to respond through the tears and lump in her throat.

“You have no light”, she says.

You have no heart, she thought.

“Why do you even pretend to care?” she asks.

Shocked he responds by grabbing each of her hands and holding them gently.

“But I love you” he says.

Stunned she doesn’t know what to say, 

She just stares at him. 

He holds and strokes her hands with such tenderness.

“Who are you?” She asks.

“You, speaking of love, being tender and sweet?”

“Who are you?”

“Which man is the real one?”

“The brash, hard, cold, dark, bad one?”

“Because that’s the only man you’ve ever been with me.”

They stare at each other in silence. 

Can she still walk away? she wonders. 

Was that a mistake? Is there more beneath that tough shell?

Just as she’d originally told herself. Love? Wow? 

All this going on in her head as he just stares at her. 

His dark eyes, for the first time, vulnerable and open.

“You love me?” She asks

“Why the tough-guy facade?”

He shrugs and starts to speak, but stops himself. 

“Look, I was leaving, now. So if there’s more going on with you, now’s the time” she says. 

“It’s a long story” he mumbles

She sits back down, pours another couple of shots, 

Slides one across the table toward the chair he’d been sitting in.

“I’ve got time” she says. 

“Maybe you’re better off leaving,” he says, his bravado somewhat returning.

But she can see, now, that his hearts not in it.

He sits down, throws back the shot and starts to talk…

JKC

I just started writing and that’s what came out. Should I keep going? Or leave it be….?

Please let me know what you think in the comments. Thanx. 

Night all😴😴😴

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Sorry to say, but today, was about as bad as yesterday. It won’t go away. It wants to stay. This nausea is winning the fight today. I want to yell, “HEY! Please just go away‼️” But it doesn’t care about what I say. So far it has only had it’s way. I wish there was a way to make it pay! If it went away, I’d shout, “HOORAY!” I’d dance around feeling joy and gay! Instead I sit here with it gurgling away. I’m losing my mind, feeling this way! I’m running out of things to rhyme with say. This may be it for today. Wait, what? Is probably what you’ll say. I’m just tired and wiped and filled with dismay. Tomorrow I take my daughter away to the doctor to see what she will say. About her headaches, not my feeling this way. But, while there, I may say, “Hey! Each and every day I have such bad nausea and it won’t go away.” Then I can see what Dr. May has to say. Yes that’s her name, I didn’t betray… How’d I get mixed up in this silly fray anyway?  When things don’t go my way, I wish I could slay it, I pray and I pray that I’ll wake up and it will have gone astray. But no, it’s still hunting me, like I’m it’s prey. Today I’m not using this in a serious way. Could you tell? Did I draw you astray? Do you enjoy the rhyming game I like to play? How long can I go on, before I stray? You know the colour that they call grey? Do you spell it like I did? Or do you use an “a”? I feel exhausted with this nausea to slay. Following me around even when I say, nay!! This writing has really begun to decay. “Was it me that caused such a big display?” Who knew so many things rhymed with the word say??” I didn’t plan to write this way. It just sort of happened, does that sound cliche? Well, it’s the truth, and to my dismay, my brain can’t come up with anything to downplay the silliness of this post today. Sitting here, I feel like I sway. My tummy’s churning, and doesn’t feel okay. I’m so frustrated and I’ve left myself little leeway for any other writing today.  My hubby’s gone, for 3 work days. And now I’m starting to fall asleep. It happens almost every day, because I leave these for the end of the day. Please forgive this crappy post that I can’t unsay. So it’s done – for now anyway. Good night for now, until Thursday!! The best of the best was not today…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Today was not great. I felt this damn nausea the moment I got up and it had a fever paired with it this time. It gets worse. I was lying down trying to relax, when the school called because my little man has a bad tummy ache and he threw up at school. Doesn’t that suck? His third day ever of grade one and he’s in the bathroom with the teacher getting sick. So, needless to say, I had to pick him up. The majority of the day was spent on the bed.  It was nice, kind of like when he was really little. However, neither of us felt well, which tends to make it difficult. Maybe I have a flu-bug???

So, because that’s my entire day. I also was going to write down one of my “in the vault” poems. This is a short poem that I sent to a very special friend when she was having a rough go.

When things don’t go as planned

And faith is hard to find – Believe

When life gets much too hard

And hope has slipped away – Believe

When fear is all you feel

And dreams have been forgotten – Believe 

When pain smothers the joy

And happiness seems lost – Believe 

When loneliness fills your heart

And love seems out of reach – Believe 

When everything falls apart

And you’re left empty inside – Believe 

When you close your eyes

And chose to believe

Please see that you’re a special gift – This, I Believe  

Please know that you’re a treasure

And you’re always loved and cherished – This, I Believe

When you see that you can do and be anything

And you trust yourself again – You Will Believe

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Feeling just as pukey as last night. Blech! I hate this nausea. I was okay when I first woke up, but as the day progressed, so did the yuck feeling in my stomach. It’s making me a bit crazy. It’s funny how I can bitch about this up the ying yang, but haven’t complained about my face in a while now. It’s weird what you get “used to”, if you know what I mean. Daily pain becomes par for the course (I wonder why my damn phone picks up on some phrases, but not others…strange). Despite feeling so sick, I had a great day with my youngest daughter today. We went shopping together (since she got all that loot for her birthday).  I actually felt fine until about 3:30 – 4:00, which was nice. We don’t get much time together for just the two of us. It was really great to spend the day just her and I. I know my oldest was upset. She wanted to come, but the sink in her room is leaking and she asked my dad to come look at it and he was coming today. We told her she needed to be home for that (turns out they opened a whole brand new can of worms – found a mess with the pipes, a chunk of uninsulated [is that a word??] wall, which was likely contributing to her freezing room and the entire vanity was a mess. So they tore it out and bought a new one. Brought it home from the city, opened the box and it was broken. By then it was getting late, so my dad took that with him to return it and get a different one and it’s all ripped apart in her room right now. Not disappointed that I missed all of that – lol‼️) We mainly stuck to South Common, we just went to Sports Check at the end of the day. Old Navy had all of their jeans on for 50% off so I got a pretty nice pair of jeans for myself for only $20 (maybe I am a cheapskate after all – I don’t know, I think that I just like a good deal!) I also got a new water bottle at Indigo. I know that sounds boring, but I really love it! They had those s’well water bottles, which was what I wanted, but I decided that my hubby would probably ring my neck (my phone didn’t know that expression either…) if I spent $48 on a water bottle. However, they had a different brand called Bobble Bottles. They weren’t as expensive and had really pretty designs, but did the same thing; they’re double-walled stainless steel and keep drinks cold for 24hours or hot for 12. Also, and I love this feature, there is no condensation!! Yay! No more wet mess and too cold to hold onto any longer! And…it’s pretty. Which is, you know, nice!  That was the one thing I was keeping my eyes peeled for today. I get such a dry mouth from my medications that I generally have a water bottle with me. Also, for the same reason, I keep one beside my bed at night. Now, assuming it works, and so far it is, I won’t have to drink warm water through the night. Again, yay! I love spending time with my sweet girl. We always laugh and have lots of fun together. She’s my mini-me and I love her so. She makes me laugh with her quirky sense of humour. We often get the giggles together. We cracked up and both felt guilty as we were pigging out because we were “starving”, but then, as we were stuffing our faces, we drove by a poor guy with a sign that said “starving and homeless”. Probably had to be there, but it was so funny!  I almost gave him my fries, but felt too awkward to do it. See, here comes the guilt! Just thinking about it makes me feel bad…We’re definitely a lot alike, her and I. When she talks about her friends, it reminds me of when I was young. I’m thankful for our day together. She’s 14 and is still happy spending the day with me, which is nice. She never really did the embarrassed to be seen with me thing that people talk about, although neither did my oldest, maybe it doesn’t really happen, or it still could happen I guess. Who knows? Time will tell. Hmmm…I think I’m rambling now. Sorry. I’m tired and feel yucky! I’m going to head to bed. (Unintentional rhyming…)

Night all.💤 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Not feeling great tonight. We went to mom and dad’s for dinner today. Other than random overheating and sweating, which I believe is due to my medication, I felt fine during the day and, for the most part, at their house. Nearing the time we were leaving I started to feel nauseous and yucky. I wish I knew why I get this way. I hate it so much! I’d blame my meds for this too, however it’s not something that continuously bothers me or even happens all the time. I’ve had meds make me feel nauseous in the past and the feeling was pretty much constant, not off and on. I hate the feeling though. You just don’t want to do anything at all, except maybe lie down… It’s not the end of the world or anything, it’s just an unpleasant way to feel. We had a nice visit. My parents had a cake for my daughter since they weren’t here for her birthday, which was super sweet of them. They bought her a gift card for LuLu, which was what she’s really been wanting. Hopefully with that gift card, combined with another she got from a friend (for any store in Southgate mall), plus the cash she received, she should be able to at least buy a headband or perhaps a pair of socks…LOL!!! Just kidding! She’s been wanting something from there forever and I always tell her that it’s too expensive. If she wants to spend her own money there it’s her choice. So, assuming this nausea passes, we’re going shopping together tomorrow. I was a bit shocked by how much some of these parents spend for a friend’s  birthday. After her dance friends birthday party she received about $140 cash, $150 in gift cards, plus some gifts!! I mean, maybe I’m cheap or something, but I found it a little over the top to be honest. Unless I’m just the cheap mom. We usually spend from about $20 – $30 on gifts for friends, for the kids. However, the majority of these gifts averaged about $40 or higher. Maybe I am just the cheap one. I don’t know, but in my opinion that’s too much. Especially for just casual friends. I can see maybe spending more if it were for her best friend, but I don’t see myself going over $40. My oldest daughter didn’t care at all about “brand names”, but my younger one does more. Well, she worries quite a bit about what people think about her. I have talked to her about it numerous times. It worries me that she cares so much about what others think. I think it bugs me so much because I know that she got it from me. My hubby couldn’t care less what people think about him or what he has to say. He truly doesn’t care! It was one of the things that I liked about him when we first met. He wasn’t afraid to say what he’s thinking and wouldn’t dream of apologizing for who he is. He’s kind of always been like take it or leave it, like me or don’t I don’t care. On the other hand, I’ve always worried about what others think and I’ve had or perhaps have some issues with self-esteem and confidence. I always worry about being judged or about if people are going to like me or not. I’ve definitely gotten better. I understand that I am who I am and I’m not changing myself for someone. However, to be honest, I still want people to like me and I worry about my weight and what others think. I now know that generally the person doing the judging tend to show you more about themselves and usually it’s their issue, not your own. I know that “mean” people are usually  covering up their own issues with their behaviour. It’s usually a “them” problem, not mine. I just worry about my daughter and the age she’s at – the prime age for meanness…I know what it’s like, always worrying about what others are thinking and feeling like you never quite measure up to other people’s standards. I do think her dance helps with confidence, I mean she’s doing a solo this year – going out on that dance floor in front of judges by herself. She’s not cowering awkwardly in a corner with no friends, I just know she has anxiety about it and I wish I could protect her, but wherever she goes in life, she’s going to run into mean, judgmental people and she needs to learn to stand up for herself. I may be worrying for nothing, but I am the one who taught her how to worry – right?! She learned from a master worrier. I think I learned it from my mom, who also has improved. I just wished she’d worry a bit less about what my sister thinks and/or says, because I know it hurts her. And my mom is who she is and she doesn’t need to change that for my sister or anyone. I know she doesn’t want to rock the boat, but it bugs me when my sister says things to her and she doesn’t even seem to see or care (?!) about how her words affect my mom. Then my mom over-tries to make her happy and I’m not sure if my sister even notices or realizes. Oh well. Not my problem I guess. I love them both and I’m going to stop talking about it on here, before I upset or offend anyone; which I promise is not my intention!! My point is that I learned the worrying. And, my mom got it from a mother who basically brought them up with the belief that appearance is everything and everyone looking in had better think all is perfect!! Ah family! Gotta love them😘

Any-who, I’m just feeling gross, so I’m going to head to bed now. 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”