The urge to do nothing is always there!
To sit around feeling useless,
Whining about how life’s not fair!
The pull to slip back under is so strong too!
To go back to feeling useless,
To let Depression rule all I do!
That dark path is a hard one to fight!
To go back where nothing mattered,
To look away from God’s bright light!
The compulsion to fall back into old ways,
To unhealthy behaviours and thoughts,
Is so damn powerful and it always stays!
Every moment, I have to try to remain strong!
It’s perpetuatally whispering in my ear,
“Were those old times really so wrong?”
It tries to tempt me or harass me,
Until I feel I’m going crazy!
It loves to remind me of what I used to see!
I saw pain and loneliness, sadness and despair.
I’d feel confused and very angry!
Why would I ever want to go back there?
Because it was easy to be in pain.
It was easy to dredge up the negatives,
They seemed to fall down like rain!
So each and every day, I try so hard,
To fight the elephant in the room,
To kick its’ ass out to the yard!
I must remind myself how far I’ve gotten,
And that it was never, ever fun!
In fact, it was generally just rotten!
I have to fight the pull every day,
Because it may be awful, but it’s simple!
So I must remind myself that there is a better way.
To remain calm, keep busy, be positive and smile!
Those things really help to deter,
That strange, dark urge that pulls all the while!
To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”