From the vault (July 21,2008) During an art journaling class, with the theme of the course called, “Beauty Quest”, we were given the first line and had to complete the thought. This is about my first born. Nothing ever “beat” it, but the birth of my other two kiddos equaled it!

“I remember a time when I met beauty…”

It was awesome and awe inspiring…to see her tiny precious toes and itty bitty finger nails. Her belly steadily moving up and down – her eyes cloudy, but looking, no gazing into mine. Her tuft of hair, much darker than I had ever imagined! She is my heart❤️. Her innocence and helplessness was both frightening and magical – she needed me to survive!! Me! Without me she would not be able to go on!  The fear and uncertainty, to be granted such responsibility, coupled with the joy and amazement was just overwhelming!  Her skin, seemingly so thin, was smooth and warm. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her; I could stare at her forever – until the end of time and it wouldn’t be long enough! She is my heart❤️. How could something so precious and perfect have come from me? Can I raise her? Can I do this? Will I be a good mother…I don’t know how to do this! What am I going to do?!  But such unburdened trust and innocence and utter reliance on me – Wow! She was my baby. She is my baby! I was her mommy. I am her mommy! WOW! There is a God. God is good – God is here – In my arms – In my heart – In her heart – She is my heart❤️. Oh God. Thank you for the most precious gift one can ever receive! Nothing will ever beat this. This moment with her lying on my chest, gazing up at me. Equally tired from the long ordeal that brought her into this world. Gazing at my baby! I clearly possess magic, to have created something so tiny and yet so so very perfect.  She is my heart ❤️.  I love this baby more than life itself!!! From the very second I saw her, I knew that I no longer controlled my heart, she did. This perfect, tiny human, that I created. No other blessings can compare to this…Thank you God, for such an incredible gift. She is my heart❤️

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”