So many are oblivious
To those around them
Who choose to suffer
In silence
With an invisible illness
They do not understand
That invisible illnesses exist
They are ignorant and
Unaware that people live
Full lives while silently
Suffering in pain
Physically, emotionally, mentally and psychologically
I knew all about depression
Because I have lived with depression
Since I was a teenager
As did my mother, when I was
Just a young girl
Whom I remember comforting and holding while she cried
I knew all about
The horrible stigmas
That one with depression must overcome
People can be soooo “judgy”
People with depression are often
Seen as weak, or lazy
Among many other condescending things
How uncompassionate people are
People judge, they do and say whatever they choose,
But truly they speak Ignorantly, simply without a clue
About what it’s truly like
To live a life overcome by an invisible illness
They are clueless regarding
What it’s actually like living with it
Day in and day out
Until perhaps they’re blindsided themselves
Or someone that they love is hit with an invisible illness
Having TN and depression, smacked upside the head like a double whammy,
Originally forced me to
Get it together, act like I’m fine
Well, let me tell you, I was NOT fine
I was raised to be polite, follow rules
Keep it together
And always act like you’re okay
Well, guess what
That’s not humanly possible
The pain that TN is known for
Is nerve pain, particularly, nerve pain
On your face
It’s a brutal pain to have to live with, it’s referred to as the MOST painful disorder known to mankind
Needless to say, it’s extremely difficult
To behave “normally”
When you feel like you’re dying moment by moment
When you cannot physically get out of bed
Care for your children
Brush your teeth
Function like a normal human being
Once you experience it
You totally understand why it’s often called
The Suicide disorder
How terribly sad…
I’m not suicidal myself,
Not for my sake, but because of my children
But I can empathize with the feeling, with the absolute need to escape the pain, it’s not a want, it’s a need
That question that pops into your head
“I have to have this fucking pain for the
rest of my life”
It can be very scary and sad indeed, I understand the desire to escape…the very real need for it to end
It is no surprise to me that the vast majority of TN sufferers also fight depression
I’ve become the shell of the person
That I once was
I’m no longer Nieve, innocent, and Ignorant
Regarding invisible illnesses
And I knew all about them…
So, why don’t you try
To find some compassion
Maybe you truly need to live
A day in the life of a person fighting an invisible illness
Or just talk to one of us
Please just say, “I don’t understand”
This opens up a conversation
And conversations ignite
UNDERSTANDING and COMPASSION
Then one day you can say,
“I used to be oblivious
To those around me
Who choose to suffer in silence
To those who have invisible illnesses
But now I understand and I want to help!!”
JKC
To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”
