I Used To Be Oblivious 

So many are oblivious 

To those around them

Who choose to suffer 

In silence 

With an invisible illness

They do not understand

That invisible illnesses exist

They are ignorant and

Unaware that people live

Full lives while silently

Suffering in pain 

Physically, emotionally, mentally and psychologically

I knew all about depression

Because I have lived with depression

Since I was a teenager  

As did my mother, when I was

Just a young girl

Whom I remember comforting and holding while she cried

I knew all about

The horrible stigmas 

That one with depression must overcome

People can be soooo “judgy”

People with depression are often 

Seen as weak, or lazy

Among many other condescending things

How uncompassionate people are 

People judge, they do and say whatever they choose,

But truly they speak Ignorantly, simply without a clue

About what it’s truly like 

To live a life overcome by an invisible illness 

They are clueless regarding

What it’s actually like living with it

Day in and day out

Until perhaps they’re blindsided themselves

Or someone that they love is hit with an invisible illness

Having TN and depression, smacked upside the head like a double whammy,

Originally forced me to 

Get it together, act like I’m fine

Well, let me tell you, I was NOT fine 

I was raised to be polite, follow rules

Keep it together 

And always act like you’re okay

Well, guess what

That’s not humanly possible

The pain that TN is known for 

Is nerve pain, particularly, nerve pain

On your face

It’s a brutal pain to have to live with, it’s referred to as the MOST painful disorder known to mankind

Needless to say, it’s extremely difficult 

To behave “normally” 

When you feel like you’re dying moment by moment

When you cannot physically get out of bed

Care for your children

Brush your teeth

Function like a normal human being

Once you experience it

You totally understand why it’s often called

The Suicide disorder

How terribly sad…

I’m not suicidal myself,

Not for my sake, but because of my children

But I can empathize with the feeling, with the absolute need to escape the pain, it’s not a want, it’s a need

That question that pops into your head

“I have to have this fucking pain for the

rest of my life”

It can be very scary and sad indeed, I understand the desire to escape…the very real need for it to end

It is no surprise to me that the vast majority of TN sufferers also fight depression

I’ve become the shell of the person 

That I once was

I’m no longer Nieve, innocent, and Ignorant 

Regarding invisible illnesses

And I knew all about them…

So, why don’t you try 

To find some compassion 

Maybe you truly need to live

A day in the life of a person fighting an invisible illness

Or just talk to one of us

Please just say, “I don’t understand”

This opens up a conversation

And conversations ignite 

UNDERSTANDING and COMPASSION

Then one day you can say,

“I used to be oblivious 

To those around me 

Who choose to suffer in silence

To those who have invisible illnesses

But now I understand and I want to help!!”

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Hey! Let me know what you think! Thanx❌😘❌‼️

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