Today’s our last day at my parent’s lake house. Our time here sure went by quickly! I must admit that I’m feeling really really exhausted! The good thing is that my son and I have been getting to bed earlier (especially him) and waking up earlier. His schedule is just as messed up as mine is, but I told him that we have to start correcting that on our visit here. He starts grade one (my baby!!) in a couple of weeks and he will be getting up super early, compared to what he’s used to. Over the next couple of weeks, I have to gradually get him to bed earlier and earlier, so that he’s able to wake up earlier. I can hardly believe he’s starting school. He’s very much the “baby” of the family. Especially since he’s so much younger than our girls, their ages have quite the gap – he’s 6 and our girls are both about to have birthdays making them 14 and 19. 19…huh! That’s really hard to believe! I’ve always said that my birthdays don’t really make me feel like I’m getting old, it’s my oldest daughter’s birthday that affects me that way. And on Friday, she’ll be 19!! She seems to be lost in limbo right now. No job, not going to school, no idea what she wants to do/be “when she grows up”! It’s been so nice to see her on this trip. Up and out of bed before noon or one in the afternoon, interacting (without {much} conflict) with her sister, playing around in the water. At home, we joke that she’s a vampire! She is so pale, she sleeps forever, she’s usually sullen, she doesn’t like the curtains being opened to let the sun shine in. Yup, she’s my little vampire! She’s been so much happier here. She seems a bit lighter…or, well it’s hard to explain. It’s just that she’s happy and smiling and playing games and laughing and joking. I mean, I guess she does these things at home, but there always seems to be some kind of darkness, not quite depression, you just get a very bla sensation from her, if that makes any sense. There’s a bit of unhappiness or loneliness or maybe she’s despondent or dispirited…I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I just get the sad sense that she’s unhappy. It hurts my heart! She’s so much better here! It’s like, “oh, there you are…where’ve you been??” I know that if she would find something to do, a job (even if it’s working at McDonalds for Pete’s sake), bloody volunteering, babysitting, going for walks, exercising…just something. She just gets herself in this downwards spiral, to the point where she just seems to cafe about next to nothing! I have to get her out applying for jobs right away once we’re home to keep her going and moving ahead and maybe with some direction in her life, before she falls back into that pit. How in the world did I start talking about this?? She’s not going to be happy with me at all!! It’s not like I mean to “gossip and talk about” my daughter in a negative way, I love her with all of my heart and soul. If anything that’s why I’m talking about it, because it hurts my heart to see her the way she is. Excuse the typos if their are any that have been missed by spell check, I’m so exhausted that I’m literally falling asleep (again) while I write this. Last night I actually fell asleep with the iPad on my face while writing my post. I’m almost there again tonight. So, having said that, I think I’m just going to got to bed. I’m sure I could keep on writing, but tomorrow will be a looooong  day again, and, obviously, my body is trying to tell me something. Something like, “peel your damn iPad off your face and go to sleep!!” Okay, it just happened again, I’m going to bed now. Night all❌😘❌‼️

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

We had a great day out on the lake today‼️ Talk about your hot, beautiful day! (Consequently many of us are sunburned…did you know sunblock wears off in the water? Well I do, yet we didn’t reapply {is that even a word?? Reapply! It looks weird…} so our burns are our fault!).  I know for most of you who have lake-lots (regardless of the lake) it’s a pretty normal thing to go out on the boat and pull people around the lake, tubing or waterskiing, etc. Well, in my family it’s not! Until last summer, my middle daughter wouldn’t even go out in the boat!! Like she was petrified ‼️‼️ She talked about the titanic (I’m dead serious too) and other such examples and refused to go on at all two summers ago, when she was 12. Then last year, with friends,  we convinced her to get on a boat and head towards a different beach. I’m pretty sure that the only reason she finally did go on the boat that day was because we were with some of her friends and they all went on. So, she sat by me and held my hand. She was fine, she survived, obviously, but I can honestly tell you that she was petrified! So, today she initially rode on the boat, still sitting close to me. We decided that my hubby I would go out on he tube first. I was a little worried about the weight between the two of us, bu we survived. Then my oldest wanted a go (don’t know why my kids are scared…My oldest daughter has been in the boat before, but she is definitely NOT a water person., at all. Much more than even my middle daughter. She hasn’t liked it her whole life, especially deep deep water. She HATES it. So, after my hubby and I went on the tube, my oldest said she’d go if he (my dad, her grandad)only went straight and she convinced my middle daughter (the scared one, but at least a confident swimmer!!) as well as my mom to go with him!  Going pretty fast too!! They went for quite a while! Then mom wanted off and my 6 year old said he wanted to give it a try. So my dad pulled the three of them slowly. Once he got off, both of the girls said that going too slow made them nauseous…but they loved loved loved going fast! Crazy right!! I can’t even count how many times that I’ve told them how much fun tubing is and how much they would like it!! So, we spent a good chunk of the afternoon watching the girls on the tube!! I’m so thrilled that they both finally not only tried it, but they loved it! Yay! Yay! Yay! We had a great day, and an awesome time – regardless of the resulting sunburns – lol‼️❌😃❌‼️

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I have this idea for a children’s book. I’ve been meaning to write it down before I forget about it. I always have these brilliant ideas at night and completely forget all about them the next day. I’m not tooting my own horn or saying that this is a brilliant idea or anything. It’s just been in my head for a while now, so I thought I should write it down. It’s not like I have a gazillion followers and someone is going to come along and steal my idea. And if they do, it would turn out differently anyway. What I want to do is sort-of like a songbook/storybook. I have these songs that I sing to my kids, and have for years, at bedtime. It’s actually pretty basic, but they always loved it, so I figured maybe other parents would like to do the same thing. I “wrote” a song for each of them. I used a popular children’s song or lullaby and changed the words and within the words, made sure I added their name to the song. It makes them feel really special, like they have their very own personalized song! So, I figured, “Hey, I could put together a children’s book with like 7 or 8ish songs with blanks where the parents can insert their child’s name and then sing/read the book to their children.” My kids love “their” songs. In fact, given a chance, my older kids will still try to get me to sing their songs to them. I already have three written, one to Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, another to Row Row Row Your Boat and the final one to Silent Night. I’d have to use popular songs that pretty much guarantee the parents will know the song. So, that’s idea. Go ahead and leave me a comment to let me know what you think (assuming it’s working again – my mom said it hasn’t been letting her comment. I don’t know if I have to change something in the settings or if it’s a problem specific to her computer.) Like I said, it’s a simple idea that would probably work! Simple rhyming comes easily to me, so it wouldn’t even take long to write! I really have to figure out how to publish things…this blog, children’s stories! I feel like there are so many things that I want to write, but I don’t know how to go about the final step. If anyone does, help a girl out please!! 

I had a good day today, but I’m beat. So, I’m off to bed! Goodnight😴

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

This morning I actually woke up, on my own, around 9:30. For me this is nothing short of a miracle! I know I may get some eye rolls and/or head shakes, but I have what many of my chronic-pain/TN buddies call “painsomnia”. It’s insomnia for us chronic-pain folk!  I really thought I was going crazy (my hubby still thinks I am – lol) always being up super late, unable to fall asleep, feeling restless and agitated. I really thought that something (else) might be wrong with me. My schedule just manages to get more and more messed up!  However, once I finally got into TN/chronic-pain support groups online, I discovered that it wasn’t just me! Yay! Normalization! I mean seriously!! These people get up late and are up half the night, even if it’s unplanned and/or unintended. You have no idea how great that made me feel. “You mean I’m not the only one who feels like I desperately need sleep, but I can’t ever get to sleep and still feel completely wiped even when I do sleep?!” How cool is normalization?! It’s one of the reasons support groups are so damn helpful! You finally get to talk to other people who understand, I mean truly and completely understand what you’re feeling. I’m not saying I don’t have people in my life who empathize, because I do. No. What I’m saying is people who are in almost the exact same situation. Because, let’s be real here. Nerve pain is super hard to describe to someone who has never experienced it! My hubby had shingles years ago (before I ever got sick) and to be 100% honest, I didn’t really “get” the pain that he was experiencing. By the way he was screaming out in pain, I could obviously tell it was bad, (because I have one of those stubborn guys who can be sicker than a dog, yet refuse to admit anything is wrong, until he ends up with pneumonia or, you know, shingles!!) so I knew it must be really awful, but I didn’t truly understand. We now actually say it’s a good thing he has had shingles, because he does “get” what nerve pain is like. He remembers how just a bed sheet brushing against his skin made him want to leap out of his skin in pain! He says that he can’t imagine what that would be like on your face, all the time!! (And, welcome to my life!) So, my hubby may not get the whole “painsomnia” thing, but there are people out there that do! Yay!! That helps me feel less alone during those nights when I lie there and just can’t, for the life of me sleep, with or without pain, regardless of how tired or plain exhausted I may be. He thinks if you’re A, then do B. So, if you’re tired, sleep! If you’re stomach feels nauseous, get sick. If you have horrible gas pains in your gut, fart! Etc Etc…The problem is, his “logic” is often too simple. Like, jeeze, if I could fart, don’t you think I bloody would?? Come on! I’m in pain, because the gas is so bad, if there was a simple solution, of course I’d do it! Well, the same is true with me and sleep. I mean who chooses “painsomnia”?? Obviously it isn’t a conscious choice or something I do for fun – lol!! I just really enjoy the fact that I’m not quite so much of an odd-ball after all (Hee Hee)!!  So, after all this talk about sleep and insomnia, I’m going to head to bed and see how I do tonight! Generally I don’t sleep as well when I’m not at home, in my own bed. However, I’m so tired that I think I should fall asleep fairly easily tonight. I just hope it doesn’t shift into an up half the night thing tonight! But I’m starting to have a difficult time functioning and even keeping my eyes open. So, that’s a good sign I’d say. And I’m off to bed. Night all😘

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

What a looooong day‼️ My alarm went off at 4:30am and it’s now 11:45 (Alberta time), 19 hours later! Yuppers, that’s what I call a long day! We had a safe drive (obviously) and made it here in one piece (I don’t know if I really get that expression – I think it’s the first time I’ve ever actually said it.)  With three kids (that’s including our 18 year old, who I guess technically isn’t a kid…), two dogs (one who up-chucked everything before we even reached Red Deer, sigh.) my hubby and myself we made pretty good time. The longest stop was in Canmore. We didn’t intend to be there for very long, just long enough to grab breaky, let the dogs walk around and have a bathroom break.  However, when my middle daughter and I went into the Timmy’s the line up was to the door! It was ridiculous! We literally stood in line, just for a few damn breakfast sandwiches, for FOURTY FIVE MINUTES!! My oldest was texting us from the van asking us to “hurry up” like we were standing around for fun or something. The line out the door should have been a tell, I’d think!  

Okay, I’m sorry, I know this is short, but I’m literally stopping in the middle of a thought and falling asleep! I also have a hurting, damn face and I truly just can’t keep my eyes open! Here’s some Jenn self-care for you…the “old” Jenn would have forced herself to carry-on and write more than what I have here. However, the new Jenn, who takes care of herself and her needs, is deciding that the best thing to do is stop for the night and go to bed!! I’m not even going to say sorry, again, because I shouldn’t be apologizing for taking care of myself!! So, until tomorrow! 💤💤💤💤

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I must inform you, right off the bat, that I probably won’t be writing a long post today! I’m exhausted because I couldn’t sleep last night. Sooo hard to even keep my eyes open! I had to wake up early because we had to take the van in and get two new front tires put on. My hubby was just planning on rotating the tires, but he couldn’t get them off. He asked the guys who were changing the oil if they would and the guy told him that we need new ones. So my hubby and I decided that, even though we can’t really afford to, we should do the safe thing and get the tires. Anyway, I’m feeling super tired tonight and we, well my hubby, wants to leave tomorrow morning at about 5:00am. So I can’t go to bed late tonight. And I’m feeling frustrated because my face has been bugging me on and off today. It’s been fairly good recently, but it just has to start acting up when we’re heading out of town. That’s Murphy’s law for you! My daughter had her last day at dance camp today and they had a short little “show” for the parents this afternoon. She did really well! I think that they had a great week. They sure worked hard, you could tell that they had a long, full week! Afterwards, we finally connected with another family from Beaumont. Their daughter dances three of the four nights that our daughter dances. So, we’re going to do the logical thing this dance season and car-pool with them. That will be super helpful. Especially when my hubby is working out of town and I’m not feeling well!!  Here’s some fun photos of my baby-dancing-girl:

Okay, she’s not exactly a “baby” anymore, she’s turning 14 at the end of the month, but she’ll always be my baby! I think I’m going to call it a night and head off to bed. It’s almost 11:00 & 4:30 in the morning will come quickly! Night all😴😴😴

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

Pokemon Go…any bites?? Opinions?? Thoughts?? First thing that pops into your head when you hear, Pokemon Go? Fun/annoying/exercise… I think I already talked about Pokemon Go on here a while ago, so I won’t go on forever about it. I just have to say…”I WANT MY PHONE BACK!!!” And that is all. (Yes, I’m somewhat or highly joking. Yes, it was my choice to get it on my phone for my son and I. Yes, it’s my phone and I can have it if I want it (and I do take it if/when I need it). It just occasionally makes me question my sanity when I made the decision to get this game for my son and myself. He’s only 6 and gets so excited about it and I worry about my phone getting damaged. I take good care of my phone. Because it’s never been broken and neither has the iPad that he uses, I think he doesn’t truly get that they are not toys and that they can break very easily. I always say, “be very careful” and, of course, he says, “I will!” However, those are just words, if you know what I mean. Of course he’s going to say that. What else would he say?! “I’m going to run, jump and play around while I have your phone, hopefully I don’t drop it!” Yah, right. So, I don’t see a solution for this. There’s no way in bleep that we’re getting our 6 year old his own phone! NOT going to happen. Especially not just so he can play a game. That’d be ridiculous! I guess I just have to try to be with him while he’s playing and watch him like a hawk. If I see him being lackadaisical I will take my phone away for a certain amount of time, so that he understands and learns (hopefully) that he must be careful or he can’t play his game. (yes, I actually just used the word lackadaisical in a sentence!!!) And that is all on Pokemon Go. Really, that’s it! PS: We caught Pikachu yesterday!!

I’ve been so on the ball with my posts the last few days. All this talk about self-care, being present, parenting, and tonight I talk about Pokemon Go – lol. I guess that I can’t be serious all the time. One of the things I do want to get more serious about is personal development. Not like workshops or conferences or that kind of thing. What I’m referring to is reading good books that help you improve yourself. One of the things that I really love about Beachbody is that they encourage Personal Development. Actually, encourage is not the best word. Reading personal development is one of their “vital behaviours”. They mean vital, as in, absolutely vital to your business. That if you’re stumbling over certain things, struggling with getting certain things completed, if you’re too stressed, if you’re stuck, well I could go on all day. The point is, if you’re struggling with anything there’s likely a book about it that can help you overcome whatever the problem is, even business problems. There are many PD books for business people. I just love that this is a priority for this company! They want to help people and want you to help people. They don’t want to turn you into a “salesperson”. They want you to get to know people. Their situation their struggles. So that you’re not just selling them a product. You figure out where they’re at and what they need to help them move forward. What would work for them, specifically is important. Beachbody has SO many health and fitness programs, products and supplements that it’s not just making a sale. If you don’t set your people up for success and support them all along the way, you haven’t done your job. So this also appeals to me. The problem for me is expanding my network. Where do you find these “people” to help? Helping people is right up my alley. I just need to decide if this is something that I truly want to legitimately give a try. I know I’ve been doing it for a while. However, I’ve just been using the programs (although I recently fell off the wagon) and, of course, drinking Shakeology. I have been reading some of the books for PD too. However, I haven’t been giving the business side of things my all; if you know what I mean. Of course at Summit, all we talked and heard about was the business side of things. I mean, that’s the whole reason, or at least the main reason, people go. Is that why I went? Is this something I’m going to try to do? I need to seriously decide. Summit helped me to see it in a different light. Seeing the CEO and creators of the products and the trainers and hearing them speak changed my perspective. As was obvious in one of my posts, I learned more about the drink, Shakeology and all that’s in it. But that’s not really what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about these kind, compassionate, dedicated people who want to help make the world a healthier and better place. They truly care about helping people! I was surprised by their humanity, if that makes sense. So many people think, “Oh, that’s MLM (multi level marketing)” or  “It’s just a pyramid scheme” (true pyramid schemes are illegal). I feel like I don’t want to be judged the instant someone hears what I do! (If I actually am going to commit to doing it!) This from the girl who just wrote about “not caring what other people think!” I am trying to get better…well end my sentence right there! If I use the word “trying” it’s a cop-out. Saying “trying” gives me an out. An excuse. If I mess up I can just say “I’m trying”…Ug! I need to speak assuredly and say, “I don’t care about what other people think.” Not, “I’m trying not to care about what other people think.” Do you hear the difference there?? When you add the word trying?? Here’s my perfectly relevant Yoda quote, “Do. Or do not. There is no Try.” (I use this one on my kids too! So it’s only fair that I use it on myself!!) It’s late and I should be sleeping!! I just need to make a decision about Beachbody…I can’t continue this half-assed approach! It’s either yes or no. And if it’s yes, I need to commit to working a certain number of hours a day or week or something. I have to get organized about it or it just won’t happen. We have a long drive to BC on Saturday. That gives me plenty of time to think things through. I could say more, but I’m just too tired. So, until tomorrow. 😴😴😴😴

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” -James Thurber.

I need to learn, or rather, practice living in the moment, being truly present. It is SO easy to get caught-up in the past. To go over and over a scenario or situation where someone wronged you. We just dig right in, don’t we? Venting to our friends, complaining to our families, or even just thinking about it repeatedly in our heads. We can just get so lost in our feelings and rehashing the situation that we lose ourselves in the past. We’re not fully present for our families, our children. We’re so busy fuming inside, about whatever happens to be bothering us, that we aren’t fully present. This is hurting us, our relationships and it also keeps us stuck in a past event. (Okay, I know I keep saying us and/or you, when this is really about me! Others may find themselves in similar situations and can relate, but in saying us and you I am not intending to criticize anyone specific or anything!) There needs to be a better way. There must be. I’m trying to work on myself. (If you haven’t noticed yet!) I have discovered that I need to think of the lesson. This happened to me and really sucked…what did I learn from this experience that may help me later? If I can get myself to the lesson, it kind of reframes the situation for me. It shows me a different way of looking at it and finding the answer to “Why does this always happen to me??” Well, I’m sorry to say it, but we will continue attracting the same situations to us if we don’t find the lesson and then change how you respond the next time it happens!! I know that this is easy to say and much more difficult to do in reality. However, it is something that I, personally, have to work on. 

Another thing that I tend to do a lot is worry. I worry about everything. This throws me into the future. Events that haven’t even happened yet, I’ve hashed out and worried about and stressed about. Generally speaking, I catastrophize (yes, I spelled that wrong, but you must know what I mean right??) I turn things that haven’t happened yet into a worst case scenario in my head. They say (whomever the hell “they” are) that awareness is the first step. I’m so very aware of my worrying and I’m really wanting to change this behaviour. Badly! This lovely habit also keeps me out of the present moment, because I’m preoccupied thinking and worrying about something! So, here as well, I must find the lesson. Or if I’m worrying about next to nothing and it all turns out fine, the only lesson is, chill the hell out! Seriously!! I decided that I need to counteract my worries with a mantra that suits the situation. For instance, instead of worrying about our drive to BC, hating some of those  roads we have no choice but to go on, I will repeat to myself, or out loud if I actually need to drown out the worries! “We will get to my parent’s BC house safe and sound!” Then any time I find myself drifting into worry – ville, I just repeat my positively reframed mantra. I’ve been doing this a lot and I believe it helps me. 

My goal in all of this is to find a way to remain in the present moment as often as possible. To truly experience and live life. This is my life and I want to enjoy it and be present in it. I don’t want to look back and feel regret after regret. Life is a gift. Celebrate it. Enjoy it, live it to the fullest!! Take care of yourself and go to bed before 2:00am…(oops)

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

I read an inspiring article today. It was a short, simple article in the free magazine that I get from the grocery store called, “The Mosaic, mind.body.spirit.health.wisdom.” I’ve always been drawn to this magazine. There is something about it that feels right with it. Anyway the article was called, “Sadhguru’s Tips On Good Parenting”, by Isha Sadhguru. I love the tips! I love how he starts off by basically saying that all kids are unique, therefore they need different levels of attention, expressions of love and toughness. So true! I totally remembered back to when I was working and I would have parents with a “troubled” child and they would say something like, “we did all the exact same things with Johnny and he’s doing just fine!” I’d always say, well so and so isn’t Johnny. They are different people with unique needs and desires!! What one child responds to may very well not work at all with a sibling. My 6 year old is going through a stage (I hope – lol) where he thinks he’s right, period. There is no changing his stubborn little mind! Our younger daughter would have listened and said, ” Okay. Thanks Mommy.” No five minute or longer, in depth discussions where I must logically explain why something is the way it is. And, five minutes doesn’t always do it…Anyway, moving right along. There were 10 tips and I love them all!! So here’s a mini version for you!! 

1. A Child is a Privilege. (Pretty self explanatory)
2. Let Them Be.  (Let them become whatever they have to become…)
3. True Love. (Basically described as not overindulging, just what is needed. “When you truly love someone, you are willing to be unpopular and still do what is best for them.”)
4. There’s No Hurry to Grow Up.  (Basically meaning that a child needs to remain a child.)
5. It Is Time To Learn Not Teach. (I love this one! “If your child knows more joy than you, who is better qualified to be a consultant about life? When a child arrives it is time to learn, not teach.”)
6. Children are naturally spiritual. (Generally something or someone, like parents, teachers, society, television meddles with them too much. “The child will become naturally spiritual without even knowing the word spirituality, as it is natural for human intelligence to seek; the important thing to do is not provide standard answers.”)
7. Provide A Supportive And Loving Atmosphere. (Pretty self explanatory)
8. Maintain A Friendly Relationship. (“Create a strong friendship, rather than being the boss.” Don’t sit on a pedestal, both literally and figuratively. “Place yourself below the child, so that it is easy for the child to talk to you.”
9. Avoid Seeking Respect.  (“Love is what you seek with your children, isn’t it? Yes, you came a few years earlier, are bigger in body and you know a few survival tricks, but in what way are you a better life than your child?”)
10. Make Yourself Truly Attractive. (“A child is influenced by so many things – television, neighbors, teachers, school and a million other things. He/she will go the way of whatever he/she finds most attractive…If you are a joyous, intelligent and wonderful person…For anything, he/she will come and ask you.”)

He finishes off by saying, “If you are genuinely interested in giving your children a good upbringing, you should first transform yourself into a peaceful, loving and blissfull human being.” 

I like his end comment about transforming yourself first! I’m not calling myself the best parent in the world. I believe we all make mistakes, parents and children. However, my hubby and I have jokingly said, on more than one occasion, that we think that there should be a mandatory parenting test or class/workshop or something to help people be more prepared and to help with, like he just said above, transforming yourself! I have no problem apologizing to my kids if I overreact or whatever. I know I’m not perfect, my kids know I’m not perfect, but I try my best to be a good mom. It’s such an important job, raising children. Also, it is a blessing. I may have regrets in life, but my children will never be one of them!!

Hope you enjoyed this one. I loved writing it!! Night all💤💤

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”

If only I could learn to practice what I preach! I used to find myself feeling guilty of that, back in the “old days” when I had an actual career. I would work with a family or parents or whomever and I would talk to them about certain techniques, things to try at home, like parenting tools, relationship work or perhaps communication activities. Half the time I’d find that I didn’t actually do some of the things that I was encouraging my clients to do. I know I’m definitely not an “expert” or anything. I mean I’m certainly not one of those who believes that they are so much better than everyone else. I don’t expect people to look up to me or be inspired by me, I find myself surprised and honoured when I’m told that I do inspire…

So, I talk about practicing self-care and then, the following day I have a hard hitting migraine and, do I stay home and relax as I should?? Nope! Of course not. That would only have been too logical and would have made too much sense. And here I sit, far too late again, still enduring that damn migraine! I could have stayed home, taken care of myself and written this then, so that I could go to bed at a far better time! Do I recognize my mistake? Yes. Have I done this before? Yes. Will it happen again? Probably. 

However, (here’s where I explain my “excuse” for making the decision that I made tonight) when you have a really shitty disease that effects and disrupts you and your families life continuously, you begin to experience guilt. A LOT of guilt! I don’t know, because I’ve lost count, how many times I’ve had to turn people down, change or cancel plans and most often the plans being derailed are family plans. Maybe my kids understand, maybe they’ll grow up and need tons of therapy. Maybe my hubby understands, maybe he’ll grow to resent me…time will only tell. He and my children say that they understand. They’ve seen me at my worst and know that the pain that comes with TN is no joke. I only pray that they truly do understand and hold forgiveness in their hearts, because this damn disease isn’t going anywhere! There are cases of people going into periods of “remission” and maybe I’ll have that luck some day. However, until that good fortune occurs, I’m left cancelling, changing plans, disrupting things, etc. This does not and should not mean that I’m not allowed to practice self-care. However, I know that I’m hard on myself and feel guilty about how my health plays out. Yet I still need to take care of myself and my needs. I should not feel guilty for doing so. 

When you’re sick, it often makes things “all about you” and I don’t want it to be like that. I have to find balance. I, obviously, did not choose to get sick. I really don’t want things to be “all about me”. When they are that way, it makes my wanting to do things for myself come across as selfish. Like, “it’s always about you and now you want to…”(whatever it may be.) (Keep in mind, my family doesn’t actually say that, I just over-think things and wonder if that’s what they’re thinking. It’s that old self-critic running the show.) However, I’m trying to practice self-care. If I do so, perhaps I won’t have as many pain episodes…who knows?? I do know that I should print my list that I made yesterday and listen to myself – for once! I also need to believe my family’s words, not what I think they may be thinking. If that makes any sense. If they say that they don’t mind, okay then, they don’t mind, period. Not, I know they said that they don’t mind, but it’s really gotta make them angry that I’m doing this…I am not a child, I need to put my big girl shoes on and accept what they say at face value. At the end of the day, they said yes, it’s fine, then it’s fine. No more  creating drama in my head. I’m just creating unnecessary stress for myself. And if it turns out that they truly didn’t want me to do something, then that is on them for not being forthcoming in the first place. 

So, I’m officially saying goodbye to guilt! It won’t be easy, I’ve functioned this way for as long as I can remember, but it’s starting to wear on me. Bye Bye guilt, hello freedom!!

So, I embark on a journey that includes self-care, without feeling guilt!! Bye bye guilty Jenn.  (It actually takes a physical weight off of my shoulders when I say that out loud. Obviously I’m onto something here!!) I’m adding the guilt-free part to my self-care list!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”