“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.” -James Thurber.

I need to learn, or rather, practice living in the moment, being truly present. It is SO easy to get caught-up in the past. To go over and over a scenario or situation where someone wronged you. We just dig right in, don’t we? Venting to our friends, complaining to our families, or even just thinking about it repeatedly in our heads. We can just get so lost in our feelings and rehashing the situation that we lose ourselves in the past. We’re not fully present for our families, our children. We’re so busy fuming inside, about whatever happens to be bothering us, that we aren’t fully present. This is hurting us, our relationships and it also keeps us stuck in a past event. (Okay, I know I keep saying us and/or you, when this is really about me! Others may find themselves in similar situations and can relate, but in saying us and you I am not intending to criticize anyone specific or anything!) There needs to be a better way. There must be. I’m trying to work on myself. (If you haven’t noticed yet!) I have discovered that I need to think of the lesson. This happened to me and really sucked…what did I learn from this experience that may help me later? If I can get myself to the lesson, it kind of reframes the situation for me. It shows me a different way of looking at it and finding the answer to “Why does this always happen to me??” Well, I’m sorry to say it, but we will continue attracting the same situations to us if we don’t find the lesson and then change how you respond the next time it happens!! I know that this is easy to say and much more difficult to do in reality. However, it is something that I, personally, have to work on. 

Another thing that I tend to do a lot is worry. I worry about everything. This throws me into the future. Events that haven’t even happened yet, I’ve hashed out and worried about and stressed about. Generally speaking, I catastrophize (yes, I spelled that wrong, but you must know what I mean right??) I turn things that haven’t happened yet into a worst case scenario in my head. They say (whomever the hell “they” are) that awareness is the first step. I’m so very aware of my worrying and I’m really wanting to change this behaviour. Badly! This lovely habit also keeps me out of the present moment, because I’m preoccupied thinking and worrying about something! So, here as well, I must find the lesson. Or if I’m worrying about next to nothing and it all turns out fine, the only lesson is, chill the hell out! Seriously!! I decided that I need to counteract my worries with a mantra that suits the situation. For instance, instead of worrying about our drive to BC, hating some of those  roads we have no choice but to go on, I will repeat to myself, or out loud if I actually need to drown out the worries! “We will get to my parent’s BC house safe and sound!” Then any time I find myself drifting into worry – ville, I just repeat my positively reframed mantra. I’ve been doing this a lot and I believe it helps me. 

My goal in all of this is to find a way to remain in the present moment as often as possible. To truly experience and live life. This is my life and I want to enjoy it and be present in it. I don’t want to look back and feel regret after regret. Life is a gift. Celebrate it. Enjoy it, live it to the fullest!! Take care of yourself and go to bed before 2:00am…(oops)

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!”