To start off on a positive note, I’m definitely feeling better than yesterday. I’ve had a long day and am feeling knackered (Hee Hee – I just love that expression and I hear my friends voice in my head every time I hear or say it!!) I had to drive to St. Albert to see my pain doc today. Same-old same-old…fill this, increas that, decrease this, try that.  I do actually like him, it’s just that treating this damn disease gets exhausting. I just wish that there was a magic pill that is a cure-all…not more pain, no more bottles and bottles of pills, did I mention the no more pain part? That’s life in a dream land, it just doesn’t happen like that now does it?? After my appointment, I went to The Bay to buy a body shaper thing to wear under my dress this Thursday for my dad’s award. Those things are crazy expensive!! Holy moly!! But, with the amount of weight that I’ve gained, I needed to buy one. I’m just not comfortable in my own skin. I feel more like I’m inside this big, wobbly, lumpy body that doesn’t belong to me. It’s like I’m being smothered inside. Talk about being detached from my physical self. It’s like my body has become the enemy. It no longer works right, doesn’t look right, doesn’t feel right…it’s all just off. I hate that I feel that way. So disconnected and separate from my body. It’s so sad really. One of my goals for 2016 is to start doing yoga at least, bare minimum, two times a week, but I’d like to do more. It really appeals to me and it is so much about the mind-body connection through breath and mindfulness. I hope it can teach me how to start feeling “me” again. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but that’s my goal. I can’t keep feeling like this about myself. Also, the mindfulness/meditative part of yoga should help with the pain. But, where I’m at right now, today, is buying an eighty dollar shape-wear thing to wear under my dress, in an attempt to smooth some of the lumps and bumps and wiggly parts – lol! Who ever said breathing’s important?? I can just have it all sucked in for a night, right?! I was once told (& I completely disagree, I’m all about comfort!!) “sometimes you have to sacrifice comfort for fashion!” LOL 

Hmmm…didn’t mean to steer the conversation in that way. Oh well, the truth is what it is. And, the truth right now is, I need to wear this thing under my dress. And that’s that!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

“Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!