I feel like I have lists and lists of things that I have to get done, which I’m sure most of us do at this time of year. 

So, I’m usually the relaxed girl. A last minute gal’! Easy going! Spur of the moment or last minute plans…sure no problem!!?? Or, in the eyes of the OCD types, just because we’re”chill,” we must also be lazy, last minute, slow, late, unorganized, procrastinators, &, well, you get the idea. (They have more, many more, kind & warm things to say about my type of people, so I just had to cut it off! lol!! You know the type right??)

They be like, “What are you doing tonight?” ME “I don-no” THEM “Would  you like to go to a movie? I have so much free time. I finished all of my Christmas wrapping and preparations for the season in September!! You can never be too early you know??” ME “Uh, ya…right”  THEM (accompanied with a sigh & eye-roll) “You’re not done yet, are you??” ME “But, it’s early December, right? I have lots of time! No rush. It’s nice to take it slow & enjoy the Christmas season.” THEM “How slow is slow?? I have all my baking done, shopping done, gift wrapping done, all my decorations, mailed out cards, and so much more. How do you plan on still doing all of that?” ME “We still have time, lots of time, right?!” THEM “Ahhhh…” ME “Right?!” THEM “No, we only have a week until Christmas!” ME “Huh…What?” THEM “Yes, a week” ME “No way!! Unt-ah” (them nodding their heads)  “For Reals?? AAAH SHIT!!!! THERE’S ONLY ONE WEEK??!!” THEM (sighing accompanied by a head shake) ME (dropping my head between my knees, breathing deeply to avoid having an anxiety attack!) ME Going to bed, to try to control my heart beat & shut off my worrying mind and vowing to start wrapping tomorrow… “Ahh, we still have a week, that’s lots of time, it could be worse, it could be Christmas Eve!!” THEM Walking away…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Will it hold you down? 

Does it keep you back?

Can you overcome?

Will you get on track?

Does it hold the reins?

Can it count you out?

Are your choices yours?

Does it make you doubt?

Will you persevere?

Can you find your place?

When will you step back in,

To your own power and grace? 

It is truly yours to embrace…

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

The day is finally here.

One of our youngest’s firsts.

His firsts also turn into our lasts, as parents. We won’t be going through it again, because we’re not having any more kiddos. 

Because we’re experiencing first and lasts simultaneously, this day, that has parents everywhere awaiting it, leaves me with a mix of emotions; from sadness & nostalgia, nervousness & trepidation, to excitement & pride, joy & love. I know it’s not the biggest event in the world to many, probably to most, but in my son’s 5 year old life, in kindergarten, they’ve been practicing and practicing – it’s highly important to him. He went over and over things at home. He was ready. 

It is a day filled with frilly dresses, clip-on ties, perfect ringlets & sharp little haircuts.

This day is filled with shy little giggles and loud, confident laughter. You see the outgoing clowning around, as well as heads looking at the ground,  with shuffleling feet and wringing hands. 

My son falls closer to the shy side, no over-the-top goofing around, but he did look up, remember the words and actions. He had fun and did well. 

I love my little man so much and, despite the pain, I went to the school for the big day…for his…

First School Christmas Concert! That’s it! It doesn’t take much to make me feel like we must be doing something right. He’s doing well, all of my kids are. I need to remind myself sometimes that all of my kids are doing just fine. The days when I can’t function seem to make them stronger, which makes me so proud of them. I’m super lucky and thankful for my family. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦👸🏼 (5 of us, sorry girls, but somebody had to be a princess…or perhaps, even better, the Queen!!! Lol)

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Went to my parents house. Was good to see them. A little hard to just visit with mom and dad though… (My kids get excited to see them, so it gets a bit crazy when we see them after some time has passed, which, in turn, makes it difficult to just talk to each other…) I like it when they’re home. I miss them when they’re gone. My kiddos miss them too, which is why they get all riled up and compete for attention when they are here!! (Even my 18 year old – lol!!) 

My face was extremely bad again today. It is making it hard to focus on writing this. I put so much energy appearing to be “okay” that afterwards, when I just want to “relax,”the tension remains and makes things worse. I think that I’m just going to go to bed. I have been trying to get to bed at a better time, I  really need to change my sleep schedule. I know that this isn’t the first time I’ve said that on here. It’s easy enough to say that I need to make some changes, but it’s not as easy to do. Routines are hard to break and my bedtime routine is important to me (I know that probably sounds strange, but it’s true!!) So, since we’re talking about my going too bed earlier, I should really go…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I’m so so tired today. It’s my fault, for going to bed so late. I feel like I blinked and two hours went by. I was fiddling around with the website I made. I feel excited about it. It’s a lot of work though and I have to be careful not to overdo it…like I did last night… because I get so immersed in what I’m doing that I easily lose track of time. Then, I’ve set myself up for a bad day or even a few bad days!  So, as my reminder or punishment or perhaps both, I’m super high on the pain chart today😢. It’s just really bad. Of course I always feel worse on the days that we have plans. I feel like, if I’m having a really bad day and I know we have somewhere to go or something we have to do, I stress myself out about it. I worry about hurting someone’s feelings if I have to cancel. I worry about upsetting my family, again, especially the kiddos…well, my hubby too. I worry about how awful I’ll feel later, if I make myself go and attempt to act like I’m okay (people who I’m close to can usually tell when I’m having a rough day!!). I just tend to lose myself in the worries. Starting this new business and trying to find some “me” time isn’t easy. I’ve talked to my hubby about it being “okay” for me to spend time working on this, the kids don’t really get it yet. I think they’re used to me just being there with them and for them all the time, that they don’t understand when I say “no, I’m working.” However, it feels good to have a sense of direction in my life, a way to (finally) use my brain and just do something! And even my girls must admit that I’ve been happier and Ive been more positive and less bla, blech and argh over the past couple of weeks. So, I hope it helps. I just have to remind myself that even a half an hour a day of work is much better than it’s been.  I can just make my own schedule and take it one day at a time!!

Hey all I think I got the likes and camments working. Can you give it a try once you read it  I’d like to be sure it’s working  Thanx!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I’ve been busy all day. I’m working on my new website. I’m pretty excited about it and all that I am learning about starting a home business online. It’s a lot of work, but it feels like I’m using my brain and it feels amazing! Yay! I’ve been taking an on-line, do at your own pace, course regarding all the how-to’s.  New, even bigger, goal for 2016!!!

Coming Soon…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.comi (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Today was slooow…I don’t know why. I feel like it kind-of dragged out. I’m not really sure why. I didn’t do much, but I just felt like everything was moving in super slow-motion. Sort-of like this:

I hope that worked. We were fiddling around with my new phone last week and gave the slow motion setting on the camera a try. The things that you can do on smart phones these days is pretty amazing!! I’m really enjoying my newest iPhone (According to my hubby, it’s a 6S+. I have no clue what the S stands for, but I’m pretty sure the + is because of the size.) I went into the store feeling pretty sure that I wanted the 6+, even though I wasn’t 100% sure if I’d regret getting the bigger size.  However, now that I’m  a couple weeks in, I’ve decided that I love it! I already have crappy eyes. Even though I wear progressives, I find myself still looking under my glasses very often. I was constantly holding my phone right up to my face. Or taking my glasses off to see it, still held up to my face, or extremely zoomed in on whatever I was trying to read. The same went with writing. I find the 6 plus size just works for me. I was correct in thinking that the bigger one would be user friendly for me(my hubby still calls it my “tablet” though – lol). The other positive benefit for me is, along with bad eyes, I also have big hands. I like that the size fits them better, making it easier to text, write, Google, play games, etc…no more bumping thumbs!! 

Sometimes the direction that my writing takes is so random.  Often I know exactly what’s on my mind and what I need to say. However, most days I just write whatever decides to spew out of me! Today was about my phone…huh, strange! Nothing deep and/or meaningful today. Which is fine. Talking about normal things helps to make me feel a bit more like the average Jo…(excluding my mom and good friend Jo, you are both much much more than average!!! The phrase was clearly not based on you guys…Lol)

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

What a bummy day

I’ve got nothing much to say. 

I took my daughter to get a filling

She could feel when they were drilling!!!😱

They had to give her more and more

It took 5 needles and none before 

I pray she doesn’t take after me

With my resistance to almost all the meds I see

With her sweet half-smile, we took her home 

With an ice pack and a Motrin, she lay down with a groan

Not much else to say, just good night

I’m off to bed, nothing else to write!

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Do you ever sense you’re not alone. A glance over your shoulder reveals no-one or nothing is there. Goosebumps crawl along your arms, sending shivers up your back. You glance behind you again, still uneasy. Again, you’re seemingly alone.  I’m pretty sure many people have experienced something like that, but, for most it probably ends up being nothing…

Well not for me! Nope! This new creepy sixth sense is now my normal… (Ya, I know, not cool!) I try not to notice that things in my bedroom have been moved; not halfway across the room, just slightly. Even though I do, of course, notice. I used to wonder, “did I put that there…hmmm”. (Now I just act like I didn’t even notice.) But today’s different. It’s somehow something more. I can’t put my finger on it, I just know. My arm hair stands on end, I feel a chill run through my body. I try to trump the urge to get the hell out of there; to convince myself that I’m imagining things, it’s just my bedroom after all. The scariest thing to ever happen here was when my dad walked in on Jimmy and I kissing in ninth grade, yuck!!!  (Talk about fear!!) Now that really gives me the chills!!

Then suddenly, “ouch!!”something just pinched my arm! Shit! That hurt! Just then I swear I just saw movement out of the corner of my eye.  I whip my head around and nothing. I glance down at my arm, there are two very small punctures with tiny trickles of blood coming out. Before now,”just calm down already, it’s all in your head…”seemed to be my catch phrase.  However, that doesn’t  seem to cover getting pinched or bitten by something you can’t really see. I stood there for what felt like hours, but was probably only 5 minutes or so. (Well, you try standing still after “nothing” bites you!!) Do I go tell mom?? No, she’d think I’m losing my mind, maybe start the “therapy talk” all over again…no way am I doing that!!  I could call my dad, but what could he possibly do, from the “big down-under??”  “Oh honey. You’ve always been so creative with that big imagination of yours!!”

Nope! No help from them. So I guess, maybe, I’ll just grab a bandaid and go back to the “it’s all in my head” idea… pretty hard to convince myself now though!! “Huh…”

Then, my big idea, the Internet!!! I can Google invisible, stuff-flying around, just out of my line of sight, tiny biting creatures, or something along those lines. So, I opened my laptop, popped in ear-buds, cranked “One Direction” and fiddled around online with my ridiculous search…I also decided that I should try to look preoccupied and busy. I’d go for normal, act like nothing is wrong. After all, I’ve got to be the only 16 year old girl on the planet who believes that spirits or sprites or fairies or, well, something visits my house, mainly just my bedroom on a daily basis. Yep, I had to work on finding some sense of normal inside me… Good luck!!

I just wrote whatever words spewed out of me. So, no spellcheck, no proof-reading, no critical remarks…leave those here_____________!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”
Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

My younger daughter and I went to our annual tea party today. One of her friends’mom has a Christmas tea party for the moms and girls every year. This year the girls made chocolates. There was a big selection of types of chocolate dark, white and red. She had all kinds of sprinkles, nuts, mint, etc. Also, she had different molds, sticks to make chocolate suckers, and chocolate bark. She is so great at entertaining. She has a beautiful home that they just had built. I can cook dinner and maybe some basic chocolate chip cookies. However, at this tea party, she had all sorts of Christmas baking and a rich chocolate truffle cake. My Christmas baking usually consists of making a prepared, boxed gingerbread house with my kids. And that’s about it!! We had a good time. It was nice to see the kids and their moms. The girls are all in grade 8 now. When they were going into grade 7 the town did a bunch of re-zoning and the girls (most of whom had been in school together since play school) were split up. So, it was nice to see all of the girls together again, as well as the moms that I rarely see anymore. I’m tired though. It doesn’t take much for me to get exhausted!! Just going out and visiting and I feel knackered (lol I still can’t get that expression to flow naturally!!) Soooooo tired. Night all!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.”

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!