Another day of back and leg pain. Fun fun. The spasms go through my lower back in a ripple in the tide, an ache that won’t go away. Bright red shots down the back, & side of my leg. Ug!!  But, I’ll take it all over the f-ing face pain. Still, the drive on the weekend will be long and hard on my back. 

I just feel so pathetic. Like the person who cared once is now buried (almost literally) under layers and layers of fat…I hate the low days. When I just don’t care anymore. My house is in shambles, I’m going to be one of those damn hoarders soon if I can’t find a way to dig myself out. I just kind of feel like a lump. A lump on the couch, in my bed, at the kitchen table. Just a lump, that gets shifted around from room to room in a sloppy manner! With my stupid back/leg shit, I feel like one of those annoying fat people who can barely move around without help. Then, on top of that, making it far far worse, I can’t remember what I said mid-sentence, I just freeze and it’s gone. I walk into my kitchen and forget why. And I know everyone will likely say something like,”oh, I know what you mean!” Inside you’re thinking nope, no you have no idea!!!  The difference is, I’m not exaggerating. Not even a little. I forget what show I washed right after watching it…all of it! Mid-sentence, just poof! Gone! So so tired of this… I hate it when I somewhat know, intellectually, what I need to do, eg. diet, activity, emotional, meditation,etc etc. However, that knowledge just isn’t necessarily transferred to the emotional part of it all. Emotions are strong strong feelers and when all that they feel is pain and negatively, it becomes increasingly more difficult to find that positive core down and buried…

At least it didn’t snow before Halloween!! I must smile at the good things…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!