Bought new jeans today. I had to because I’ve gained too much weight😢😢. I just hate hate how big I’ve gotten. It just gets me down. It makes me want to hide away at home and not to out. I feel ashamed about it. I know it’s because I just stopped caring…about everything. But, then it snowballed and, of course, makes everything worse. I started to feel even worse about myself and wanted to go out even less. So, anyway, the jeans are skinny jeans and I feel so self conscious with the idea of skinny jeans. My daughter convinced me to buy them. They were a really good deal, so if I hardly wear them I won’t feel bad about buying something expensive that I never wear. I could have gotten more, but I don’t really want to give into the weight I’ve gained. If that even makes sense. What I mean is, I need to start eating better. I don’t want to remain passive about my weight, while gradually buying bigger and bigger clothes. It’s just too frustrating and disheartening. I have never, not even when I was pregnant, in my life been this big. Did I mention that I hate it?? Also, I hate how much this sounds like a pity party.  Sigh… This weeks posts have been such downers. Just filled with negativity and unhappiness. Likely not much fun to read.  I apologize for that. But, sometimes it is just hard to pretend everything’s okay, when it just is not. I don’t want to get my hopes up too much, but I really really really hope that the laser therapy helps! I need it to help. I am just so sick and tired of always feeling sick and tired. Clearly my antidepressants aren’t working all that well…lol!!

I’m going to stop for now, because I need to go feed my family and I’m just feeling stuck right now. I don’t want to keep rambling on and on in such a negative fashion. I know it helps to talk things out and to write about how I’m feeling. However, I’m just too stuck right now in this murky funk and this isn’t helping right now. I guess I’ll post this and, if I get into a bit of a better place, I’ll write more later. Otherwise, hope everyone has a good easter and enjoy their time with their families. 

🍻cheers🍻

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!