Tag Archives: #poetry

Salvation

March 23, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Searching my soul

Serving my spirit

Surrendering my sins

Surviving my shame

Sacrificing my smile

Sabotaging my sexuality

Sensing my struggle

Seeking my strength

Silencing my skepticism

Sparking my senses

Salvaging my sanity

Sharing my surprise

Savouring my success

Shinning my serenity

Saving my self

SALVATION!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

What Is Nerve Pain Anyway?? (Part 3)

Everyone who reads this knows by now that I suffer with nerve pain. But what is nerve pain anyway? And, how is it so different then other pain? Aren’t our nerves what sends signals to the brain about pain? So, what’s the difference between regular pain and nerve pain? I’ve written about pain before, acute and chronic. But what is nerve pain??

The two main categories are pain caused by tissue damage, also called nociceptive pain, and pain caused by nerve damage, also called neuropathic pain. Pain is also classified by the type of tissue that’s involved or by the part of the body that’s affected (chest pain, back pain, headache, etc.)

nociceptive pain: Most tissue damage occurs from an injury to the body’s tissues. The injury can be to bone, soft tissue, or organs. The injury to body tissue can come from a disease such as cancer. Or it can come from physical injury such as a cut or a broken bone. The pain you experience from tissue damage may be an ache, a sharp stabbing, or a throbbing. It could come and go, or it could be constant. Pain from tissue damage can be acute, For example, sports injuries. Or it can be chronic, such as arthritis or chronic headaches.

neuropathic pain: Nerves function like electric cables transmitting signals, including pain signals, to and from the brain. Damage to nerves can interfere with the way those signals are transmitted and cause pain signals that are abnormal (& bloody awful!!) Nerves can be damaged by diseases, trauma, certain chemotherapy drugs, and also as a result of stroke or an HIV infection, among other causes (as if those weren’t enough!) The pain that comes from nerve damage could be the result of damage to the central nervous system (CNS), which includes the brain (like my TN) and spinal cord. Or it could result fro, damage to peripheral nerves, those nerves in the rest of the body that send signals to the CNS.

The pain caused by nerve damage is often described as burning or prickling. Some people describe it as an electrical shock. Others describe it as pins and needles or as a stabbing sensation. Some people with nerve damage are often hypersensitive to temperature and to touch. Just a light touch, such as the touch of a bed sheet, can set off the pain.

Trigeminal Neuralgia, is the fun disease I get to live with (note the sarcasm!) My Trigeminal nerve (the biggest nerve in the body) was found with 2 large veins that were pressing into it, damaging its protective outer myelin sheath layer. I had the Microvascular Decompression (MVD) surgery and the Neurosurgeon put Teflon into my brain, underneath these blood vessels to protect my nerve and allow it to heal. Problem is, the surgery didn’t work and I’m still here with a damaged and consequently misfiring Trigeminal nerve. I get horrible shocks and stabs of pain. The pain is intense and lightning like, and it can occur in my lips, scalp, forehead, eye, nose, gums, cheek, and chin on one side of the face. The pain can be set off by touching a trigger area or by slight breeze. Frankly, the pain sucks! It’s so so awful and so so hard to treat!!

(The majority of the above information was found online at WebMD, I do not intend to plagiarize, just not sure how you do a bibliography for a web site!!)

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Is This Paradise

March 21, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

A fitful night of restless sighs

A silent night barraged by the raging noise inside my head

Words and thoughts and fears and regrets

A night where the disparaging voices can’t be tamed

Overtaken by reproachful thoughts of shame and guilt

Smothered by dreams of joy and hope

Pain and sorrow and faith and trust

Tumble together in a twisted truth

Is this paradise?

JKC

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

How Random…

🎉🎉Happy Birthday to my sister!!🎉🎉

So, I’ve been kind of off all week. I feel like the days have kind of been a blur. Nothing much has happened. It’s been a lot of the same old thing…I don’t know why I just feel so bla.

My daughter and I have gotten into the show “The 100.” We have been watching it all week! It is feeling like an addiction. It’s so easy to just watch and watch episodes back to back. We keep saying “well, just one more episode.” We’ve managed to watch a season and a half in under a week! So crazy and so easy to do! I think that PVR’s and then Netflix (& all of the new streaming networks) have completely changed how we watch TV & movies. It wasn’t so long ago that there was a movie rental store on every street corner. Then you could “rent” a movie “on demand” from your home. Netflix wasn’t far behind. Now, we PVR our favourite shows, who even watches commercials these days?? We get our movies on Netflix or (a’hem, occasionally) download them ourselves. I actually miss watching previews or trailers (whichever you prefer to call them) before movies. They would keep me up to date about what is coming out soon. But now, who needs them? My husband just logs onto the play station network, then there’s a network (IGN or something?? Don’t quote me on this!) and you can watch previews of new releases to theatre, or new DVD releases, or probably whatever previews you’re interested in. Frankly, you can pretty much watch whatever you want on-line now…My youngest daughter rarely watches actual “TV” now, she’s either on YouTube or Netflix. I had no idea where this conversation was going. Huh. It’s pretty crazy how quickly technology is changing things. I have kids whose ages are not that close & I can really see the difference between my kids. My four year old doesn’t know how to use a mouse, but he can navigate my iPad better then me. It just changes so so quickly! It’s hard to keep up. My kids &/or hubby help me whenever I don’t know what to do…with my phone, the TV, the WiiU, the PS4, my iPad, etc. etc… I haven’t even figured out how to add photos on this blog yet!! Well, one day at a time I guess…

And, on that note, I’m going to go to bed now! This whole conversation…how random!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Here’s Hoping Tomorrow’s A Better Day

March 20, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Today I really don’t have much to say.

It seems that time just quickly flies away.

It’s now time to get ready to go to bed.

The first thing I do, is think ahead,

And if needed, remember my TN tips!

Before brushing teeth, try to avoid your lips,

While applying Anbesol gel to your teeth and gums,

Then quickly brush your teeth, while it numbs!!

To wash your face use water that’s not too cold or hot,

I wash with pressure as it causes less pain, believe it or not!

Pat to dry, definitely don’t rub,

And whatever you do, do not scrub!!

Spray a light toner, if that’s something you like to do.

For night cream, again applying pressure works here too!

If the pain’s bad the toner will do. Lotion? No way! I will skip it!

And, for pain above the bad range? Just forget all of this shit!

Just take med after med after med,

Then throw your ass into bed!!

Don’t forget to have heat or get ice.

Lie down and pray for your sleep to be nice!!!

Hopefully you’re able to get some rest,

Good sleep helps you feel your best…

Well, that’s what I’m told anyway,

Here’s hoping tomorrow’s a better day!!

JKC

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I Feel Like I’m Going A Bit Crazy…

March 18, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic pain, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #meditation for pain relief, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

A strange day. I feel like I’m going a bit crazy. So many intentions with nothing getting done. Just filled with bla, a little more bla, with a bit more bla on the side…I feel like there are so many things to do, yet nothing ever actually gets done. I just sit around in my messy house with ice on my face doing nothing. Sad really. It kind of makes me feel useless. Nothing is getting accomplished at all. I have these lists in my head, of all the things that I need to do, from things I want to write about, to laundry, to dishes, to de-cluttering. The lists go through my head, again and again, but it never gets done. I have bins of things that I need to go through, that I’ve needed to go through for a long long time. My kids rooms are overflowing with stuff, clothing, toys, just stuff. I have piles of books. I do love books, always have, but I have books everywhere, and far too many according to my husband! I’m just feeling incredibly overwhelmed, yet nothing gets finished. I feel like I’m going a bit crazy. I have many great friends who help me, with emotional support, food, anything I need. Also, many offers to help go through all the stuff at my house. But, it’s embarrassing and I feel ashamed and, for some reason, I feel this bizzare urge to hold onto things. I feel like I’m going a bit crazy. Pain and depression hand in hand sucks! Really really sucks…don’t know what’s with me today. Don’t know what’s up with me anyway. Was going to write about something significant or meaningful or something…I don’t know. But, it’s obviously not happening. Just a bit of self-pitty going on I guess. Anyway, I’m going to stop now. I don’t think this is helping me right now…

Oh, did I mention that I feel like I’m going a bit crazy???

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

And You Find You’re Standing Strong

March 17, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic pain, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #meditation for pain relief, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Do you believe in coincidence?

Or things happening by chance?

Do you believe in destiny?

What’s behind each circumstance?

Do things happen for a reason,

Like they were just meant to be?

Do you find yourself arriving

In a place you didn’t foresee?

Still somehow you can sense

That you are right where you belong.

Then things all come together,

And you find you’re standing strong.

JKC

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Bla Bla Bla…Goodnight!

March 16, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic pain, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #meditation for pain relief, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Not with it today. It’s been a strange day. Feel like I just got up and now it’s bed time and I don’t know how that happened. Just blinked and it’s time to start getting ready for bed. It’s such a strange feeling, like the day snuck past when I wasn’t looking. So now I’m sitting here feeling just as bla and out of it and exhausted as when I first woke up. I’ve hardly moved or done anything, other then get my girls from school and dance. I just have this yuck feeling about me, I can’t seem to shake it. I don’t feel like moving or talking or doing anything, not even writing. Just plain old bla…

I know, I know, yesterday all I wanted to do was stay in bed. Well, today I just want to go back to bed. My whole body is just achy and sore. My face is on fire and being shot through with pain. I’m feeling super tired out and blechy. I’m just plain bitchy tonight. So I think that I am heading to bed now. I’m allowed an off day or two right?? Well, my own answer is, ” yes! yes! yes!”

And on that note, bla, bla, bla…goodnight!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Today I wanted To Stay In Bed

March 15, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic pain, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #meditation for pain relief, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Today I wanted to stay in bed,

To pull the covers up over my head.

I was ready to sleep the day away

My mind felt clouded, all dull and grey.

I didn’t want to open my eyes,

And from my bed I didn’t want to rise.

I knew eventually I’d have to get going,

But exhaustion on my face was clearly showing.

Don’t we all want a gimme day?

A day to do whatever you may?

Time to sleep or read or watch TV,

No rules about how you’re supposed to be!

I don’t think that I’m the only one,

Who wants a day when nothing gets done!

Perhaps a day for yourself isn’t so bad,

Without one I’m afraid I might go mad!!

The moral of my ramble is to honour your self!

Huh…What the hell will rhyme with self????

(Elf, shelf, wealth…I got nothing…)

JKC

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

How Our Body Deals With Chronic Pain (part 2)

March 14, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, #Beaumont AB, #chronic pain, #edmonton, #facial pain, #mairrage, #pain, #parenting, #poetry, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.comJenn

So a couple days ago I wrote about how our bodies deal with pain. I focused mainly on acute pain and how our body’s reaction to acute pain keeps us safe and prepared for emergencies. I spoke of how our bodies learn from each pain experience. Also, I wrote about how, when we repeatedly think about our pain experience over and over again, our brains naturally do this. Our brains want to not only remember the experience, but to be motivated and able to avoid a similar threat in the future. I was happy to learn that I’m not actually the most negative person by letting the pain be ever present in my life. No, it’s normal and is our bodies way of protecting us. This certainly helps me feel a bit more normal. We are quick to judge ourselves as negative or stuck or many other things, it was nice to learn that this was not the case.

Now, chronic pain is a different thing. The protective pain response that occurs with acute pain often becomes overprotective in the case of chronic pain. Our bodies can become over sensitive to threats and end up sending messages to the brain that a threat is present, whether or not the threat is minor. Also, our brains tend to interpret situations as threatening and sensations as painful, far out of proportion to any real danger. The more we experience pain, the more the aspects of our pain responses – sensation, suffering and stress, blur together allowing any one of them to trigger a full-blown protective pain response. Many people with chronic pain are on guard, waiting for the next time pain strikes, or for the pain to get worse. Our nervous systems are also doing the same thing! This is refered to as pain sensitization. So, our nerve endings can become so sensitive that pressure, tension or inflammation makes them react, even to relatively minor physical sensations. Our brain is on alert for these reactions, and teaches the nervous system to fast track the threat signals to and between certain areas of the brain. The whole communication system is fine-tuned and sped up. This can result in pain that may be far beyond any real threat to the body. (I found the above information & quoted some almost word-for-word from the book by Kelly McGonigal, “Yoga For Pain Relief.”)

On a more personal level, this doesn’t mean that, when I’m in pain, I am wrong about my experience or making it up. (Nor am I saying that anyone else with chronic pain is doing so.) The pain I feel is real, a full-fledged pain reaction. I know and have known for some time that I am ready and waiting, every moment, for the next jab of pain to strike. It is interesting really, to learn that my nervous system and my brain are also on alert, ready to respond, as soon as it senses a problem!! I know if my day will be a bad pain day if, upon waking the pain is already there or if I’m woken up by the pain. I know, too, that if I feel what I call a “twinge” of pain, I’m ready for a full blown attack! Having Trigeminal Neuralgia, known as the worst pain known to human-kind, makes it super difficult to not worry about when the pain will strike. When you have pain that can bring you to your knees and bring tears to your eyes almost instantly, well, frankly, it’s hard not to be on edge. Hmmmm, I wonder if I’m going to have knee-buckling pain while shopping for groceries today… So, yes I digress. I really do find it super interesting to know that my conscious worrying goes hand in hand with the heightened pain sensitization going on in my body.

Well, I’m not done writing about this yet. Hope it’s not boring anyone. I’m trying to learn all I can about chronic pain, Trigeminal Neuralgia and anything about dealing with it, etc. etc. etc.

To help with research and treatment please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

The Spirit Scribe

I challenge myself to write 365 posts in 2016to heal Body, Mind & Spirit. Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Tag Archives: #poetry

Salvation

What Is Nerve Pain Anyway?? (Part 3)

Is This Paradise

How Random…

Here’s Hoping Tomorrow’s A Better Day

I Feel Like I’m Going A Bit Crazy…

And You Find You’re Standing Strong

Bla Bla Bla…Goodnight!

Today I wanted To Stay In Bed

How Our Body Deals With Chronic Pain (part 2)