What a strange night…the power is out all through Beaumont – the entire town and a great deal of the surrounding area in Leduc county as well. Consequently, this is going to be annoying. I’ll either have to switch to my phone, because obviously no power equals no wifi! Or I’m able to write on the app on my iPad, however I won’t be able to actually upload this post until the power is back on (I have no idea how long that will take!!). Of course this happens on the night before my middle daughter’s first day of grade 8 and my son’s first day of kindergarten.

And, for the record, I can hardly believe he is starting kindergarten (and part of me doesn’t want to believe it at all!!) We were cuddling the other day and I squeezed him tight, kissed his little head and said “Oh I love you my baby”. He pulled back, to obtain eye contact and said “Mom, I’m not a baby anymore, I’m a kid!!” And, yes thanks for asking, I’m still finding missing pieces of my heart scattered about… (did I already write about this?? I’m feeling a déjà-vu moment writing about this!)

Also, last week he lost his first two teeth. The bottom middle ones were just so so loose! Crazy loose, just seemed to be hanging on by a thread! Finally, the first came out last Monday night and the next followed on Wednesday.

BEFORE: (note, all the teeth are present)

 

IMMEDIATELY AFTER: (no explanation necessary)

AFTER: (two days later, the second one came out!)

And that’s my baby. Oh, wait wait, I’m wrong! It’s my “kid” lol!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

A gap inside where there once was a spark

A crease on my forehead where once it was smooth

A flat look in my eyes where once shone a light

A drag in my step where there once was a bounce

A negative view where once it was bright

A rush of harsh words where once they were kind

A life without energy where it once overflowed

A hunger for meaning which never will die

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Today felt long and drawn out. I’ve had a mother of a headache all day. The new migraine, nasal spray did nothing for the pain and the new pain med did nothing either. I didn’t have high hopes, why would anything work at all?? I have a pretty long history of resistance to medication. The pain Dr doesn’t know my history like my regular doc. The last time I saw him and he gave me a new prescription my regular doc raised the strength without discussion! She’s been my Dr since I was about 22, so she knows me well. Anytime I’ve had a different Dr or specialist they just don’t listen to me at all when I try to tell them that I’m very resistant to medications. I’ve had numerous instances where they didn’t listen to me (I believe that they think I just want the buzz) and find out (usually after they actually witness it themselves) that I’m still in a great deal of pain. So, I guess I have to play that game again with this pain Dr. Even when I had my brain surgery. My doc wrote a letter about my medication resistance and printed off a list of my meds and doses, etc, (in order to avoid a great deal of post surgical pain) and they completely ignored all of that information anyway.  It was so so bad… And round and round we go!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I saw my pain Dr this morning (far too early if you ask me!). Another new pain med to try, new migraine med to try and one other new med on my plate. So two gone three added. I still feel shitty the majority of the time. He talks about how the pain med is to be used for “break through pain”, which is supposed to be used as needed, not by rote. The other prescriptions are supposed to be keeping it mainly under control. The problem is that I’m not sure if they actually are fulfilling that role, because my pain seems pretty constant. I know I currently am in pain more often than not. But the solution to pain isn’t just prescriptions, it’s about choosing to live again, it’s your diet and lifestyle, and bla bla, yadda yadda yadda… (I always think that it’s easy to tell someone what they should be doing to get better, but for the most part you’re being told this by people who have no idea what it’s actually like feeling like shit almost all of the time!! And, frankly, it’s exhausting!!!) Here I am, it’s only 8:30 and I am lying on my bed writing this and then, hopefully, going to bed. We did the pizza and the cupcake (she made them all herself – by scratch!) and now I’m so so tired. I will likely miss presents (which isn’t a great thing to sleep through), but I feel so so dizzy and a fuzzy tingle feeling in my “extremities” (I do believe that is the first time I have ever used that word!!). And, my face is on fire. ♨️♨️ (this is as close to a fire emoji I can find..

Happy Birthday my sweet little one. I love you oh so very much!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Short short short! This post will be short. Tomorrow will be super busy, I see the pain Dr at 8:30AM!! (Yes, it’s true! 8:30 AM – in St Albert on a Saturday!!!) Then, my hubby has a football game at 11:30. Also, and most importantly, my baby girl turns 13 tomorrow. Wow!! I don’t know how my babies can possibly be so much older…especially since I don’t look a day older than 20 …Ah, come on now…stop laughing!! My lovely, soon to be thirteen, daughter and I were taking our bottles, cans, ect. In at the bottle depot last week and the lady helping us asked if my daughter and I were sisters!!! She was dead serious! Lol. I truly thought she was just joking around, but she was dead serious!! I’ve been told many times that I look young. But sisters with my youngest daughter!!! Sheesh!!

❕❗️❕❗️ 1⃣3⃣❗️❕❗️❕ 💫💥🌟🌟HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🙆🏼🌟🌟💥💫

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Hubby’s home. Yay! He likes traveling for work as much as I like him traveling…yep. Hate it!

I officially registered my daughter for dance today. So, it is done. Her first class is on September 12. She is feeling both excited and nervous about starting at a new studio. She’ll be 13 on Saturday, so it’s understandable to be nervous about meeting new kids. Especially if they all already know each other. It’s a brave step for her and not an easy one. She’s thought it through and decided it’s what she really wants. She will miss seeing her friends at dance, but that is it. She is not sorry to be leaving the studio or teachers, just her friends, who she can and does still see, regardless of dance. The new studio so far seems really good. Everyone is so welcoming and friendly. The head teacher told us about how they operate as a family, they are all encouraged to support each other and to be respectful and kind to all of the dancers. They do some fun events throughout the year, including a sleepover with all of the students. I’m feeling good about it. Now, we just have to figure out what’s going on this Saturday. Always something…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I think that I’ve resolved the dance studio issue for my daughter. After a great deal of upset and frustration and some searching online and phone calls that is… There’s a lot I could say. But there’s nothing more that venting and complaining can do. I’m not sure it’s ever done anything but make me more angry and upset. I need to find a new start for her and I believe we have. Pointing fingers or calling people out won’t get me anywhere. It certainly will keep me looking backwards and after all of the crap, I need the fresh start just as badly as she does, perhaps more. I’ve been saying I’m done and now I am. I have to be. I just need to shake off the negativity and focus on the present. It is filled with opportunity!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

My hubby’s in Yellowknife again and I hate it. It’s just weird without him here. I don’t like it. Routines are funny things. You don’t even realize how you’re relying on the calm and comfort that day to day routines give us. The whole thing gets shaken-up when someone’s removed from the equation. Suddenly everything seems off kilter. Some things aren’t getting done at all, while others are somehow different. It’s like family systems theory (please don’t quote me on this, it’s been a very long time since I learned and used my brain on people or work or, well, anything really!!); if one thing shifts in the family unit, it effects and shifts the entire family. In each of our families we define ourselves and our roles, sometimes overtly like, wife, mother, oldest child, etc, and sometimes more covertly, like, the pleaser, the independent child, the provider, the caregiver, etc. I’m not sure why I went off on this tangent or why I’m rambling on about it, but I’m just going to roll with it. I’ve witnessed, as the majority of people likely have, when people go through a divorce. (I’m in no way judging. I believe there are many very valid reasons for a couple to split up!!) What I was trying to say is that when people separate the “regular” family system is completely thrown apart. This can create many repercussions to the family, kids argue more or cry more or they may try to act “normal”, or they may shut down and not let anyone in, etc etc, a parent may now have to work out of the home, maybe they have to move, etc…Basically what I’m saying is that almost everything will change, some subtle and other changes will likely be obvious!! However, this can happen on a much smaller scale, such as, one person in the family decides to eat healthier and go for regular walks. It sends a ripple through the rest of the family and small changes or shifts may occur. The spouse of the person changing their habits, may have to watch the kids more often or drive the kids to their extracurricular activities, or, perhaps they feel resentment and decide to sabotage their spouse’s new lifestyle (consciously or unconsciously). And, then the ripple from that runs through the children, etc etc.  And, this strange post is due to my current ripples, with my hubby working out of town…

And, I don’t enjoy the ripple caused by my hubby having to travel more for work! It’s poopy!!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Sooooo tired. Let myself just, I don’t know, pretend that I am fine, then I pay for it later. So, I just enjoyed some nice and big tomatoes from my plants in he back yard. Mmmmm…I think it’s so easy to forget what actual, home grown food tastes like. We eat it all winter and don’t realize that the tomatoes are tasting a bit like plastic. We get the wake up call, “this is what a tomato is supposed to tast like!!” So, go ahead and enjoy the berries and peaches and all of the wonderful fruit and veggies while they’re around. Mmmmmm…

This is the biggest. I used my son’s batman ruler, because I’m cool like that!!! LOL!!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

My hubby is off to play football this afternoon. It’s something new this year and he is really enjoying it. He has not done anything physically active in a very long time. So, this is a good thing for him. The problem is that it’s a very rough sport. And, when you’re six months shy of 40 and haven’t done any intense physical activity in years. He’s just now starting to come home after a game without feeling like he can’t move. With pain in his ankles, knees, chest, back, etc, etc… and then, just as it starts to let up, he has the next game to go to. I’m glad he’s doing something other than work and take care of us. I just worry that he will overdue it and overestimate what he can do, and end up badly hurt. He tends to do that. He thinks he can do it all. And, often, he does! But, he ends up hurting afterwards. Silly silly man. Why do men believe that they are invincible and that they can do everything the same way they did when they were 18?? It has to do with appearances and how you perceive yourself to be. Here’s my stereotype (& I know it’s not just black and white) In their heads, men feel like they have to be able to look and act “manly” or hero-like. While women, on the other hand are super hard on themselves and perceive the negative things. I wish I had half the self-assurance my hubby has!! 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List. 

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!