Tag Archives: #pain

Too Late…

November 12, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

So, this will be short…it’s been a long few days. Today we had to leave Penticton, and start to head back home. It was very very hard to say goodbye to my hubby’s Sister. She moved to Penticton to be with her (my hubby’s) mom. It was difficult, because she was not doing so well and this just made it worse…it was like everyone came for the ceremony not her!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Day Is Done

November 11, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

I’m so so tired tonight, well all day has been punctuated by barely concealed exhaustion. Those who know me well, could likely see the exhastion on my pained face. It’s been a very heart-wrenching couple of days. My mother-in-law was 62 years old. To me, that seems too young to die! But with her rough, abuse-ridden childhood, paired with cigarette smoking from age, wait for it… 8!!! Yup, you heard me right! There are many unpleasant and horrific stories, most of which, understandably, I won’t list here. Some of those stories I’d rather not remember; but of course those memories are permanently hanging around in my long term memory. Anyway, it’s been a very long few days and I need to go to bed, because we have another long day ahead of us tomorrow. Grief and crying…can definitely be cathartic and relieving. However, the exhastion comes along with it. It’d be nice if all was easy, but it never is, right? My hubby and I tried to prepare for the few days here, as best we could, but you’d have to be clairvoyant to know all that will come to be! And sure, it’d be nice to have those super-powers to play around with, right?? But, in the long run, those powers would probably turn into a huge weight on your shoulders…

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

PS: I apologize for my out of it post from last night. It was very nonsense based, I was just all over the place. I’ve gone back and tried to make it more understandable. It was a long, sad, tear-filled day.

Memories In A Bottle

November 10, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

I believe that I’ve recently lost some of myself. Because my memory has broken down. Unfortunately, the hunt for my memories is futile…Dishes still need to get done, laundry doesn’t just go away, nope, life just keeps moving along. The fact that my medications mess with my memory is a moot point (& yes, I’ve wanted The amount of people who ask me how I actually keep up with the my blog, especially with all of my health crap, is getting awfully high.

We have to do the long long drive home in two days. However, we knew this weekend would be a short trip. The drive itself may be super long, but we needed to be here. My mother-in-law’s memorial service was today. Today was a strange, sad sad blur. What else do you expect for a memorial service?? Too upsetting to attend, but too upsetting to miss…

Fingers crossed for a better day tomorrow.

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I aaAAary r

Welcome To Penticton

November 9, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

I basically didn’t sleep last night. My hubby, jokingly, said to wake him up when I’m done packing. However, that is basically what happened. I was so slow getting ready. There was always something to remember or do. We got on the road around 5:00-5:30 AM. I was so tired that I slept until Airdrie. (My daughter made sure that the house/dog sitters are at the house, because there’s always something that needs to get done!!) My hubby said that the fog in-between Beaumont and Airdrie was so bad that he couldn’t see a cars length ahead of him. It was in and out of fog and snow for a while. However, we were surprised by some rough, icy, super-d-duper snowy roads (just before Golden). There was one especially scary moment during our decent when we were going 40Km/Hr and my hubby was desperately trying to go slower, we still found ourselves angling to the right, towards the right edge as the road began to sharply turn, left. It felt strangely like slow-motion, as we were sliding towards the edge of the road, unable to stop, seeing only the very high tips of the trees older than my grandad or even my great-grandad! I began to thank God for my family and all I had been blessed with (seriously!!) when the tires found purchase and the little bit of grit was enough for my hubby to catch the traction and turn us left, with the direction of the road. So so scary!! Also, it demonstrates how easily life can just end or change in a moment. Just a bit of dirt hitting the tire in the right place to give it enough traction for us to stay on the mountain. Thank you for the many many blessings in life. Don’t forget to say thank you. Don’t forget to be courteous and kind. What if your words are the last that someone hears. Do you want that to be a negative or a positive experience??!! Hopefully the latter…

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

A Short Note…

November 7, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Today will be a super short post day. I can still hardly move around & I’ve been sitting on the living room floor, surrounded by suitcases and clean laundry. I know that this isn’t the best way to pack. Also, I just am not sure, with my back and sciatic nerve acting being totally inflamed, how or if I will ever be able to get up off of the floor. I’m seriously in pain right now and am only half joking…lol! The fun never ends at our house, Hee Hee!! I just have lots to do and it’s already after nine and, of course, I’m not finished this!! My face is acting up, so I do need to get all of this packed and flop into bed. My hubby wants to leave super early. Like, dumb dumb early! He’s always up early and figures that, if the rest of us just drag our butts out of bed and get in the van, we can all sleep while he drives. So, on that note, I need to go and finish my stuff.

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Time

Time runs along at it’s own pace.

You’ll find me behind, giving chase.

There’s this to do and that to do,

Always adding something new!

Go go go – no time for fresh air!

I do wish I had the time to care.

I wish I knew both how and when,

I’d ever feel like myself again!

I just go through the ropes, pretend I’m ok

And hope beyond hope that it’s true one day…

JKC

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I’ll Conquer You Pain!!

November 6, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Crawling, following, aching for you,

I see you around and I want you too.

Burning, screeching, blocking the path,

Overwhelmed by pain’s vengeful wrath.

Laughing, smiling, flowing over with joy,

You give me a taste, but I’m just a toy.

Reaching, stretching, just out of my reach,

I’ll get there again and hold as tight as a leech.

Hoping, praying, knowing I will never give in,

I’ll conquer you pain, joy and love will win!!

JKC

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Thanx Life…

November 4, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Another day of back and leg pain. Fun fun. The spasms go through my lower back in a ripple in the tide, an ache that won’t go away. Bright red shots down the back, & side of my leg. Ug!! But, I’ll take it all over the f-ing face pain. Still, the drive on the weekend will be long and hard on my back.

I just feel so pathetic. Like the person who cared once is now buried (almost literally) under layers and layers of fat…I hate the low days. When I just don’t care anymore. My house is in shambles, I’m going to be one of those damn hoarders soon if I can’t find a way to dig myself out. I just kind of feel like a lump. A lump on the couch, in my bed, at the kitchen table. Just a lump, that gets shifted around from room to room in a sloppy manner! With my stupid back/leg shit, I feel like one of those annoying fat people who can barely move around without help. Then, on top of that, making it far far worse, I can’t remember what I said mid-sentence, I just freeze and it’s gone. I walk into my kitchen and forget why. And I know everyone will likely say something like,”oh, I know what you mean!” Inside you’re thinking nope, no you have no idea!!! The difference is, I’m not exaggerating. Not even a little. I forget what show I washed right after watching it…all of it! Mid-sentence, just poof! Gone! So so tired of this… I hate it when I somewhat know, intellectually, what I need to do, eg. diet, activity, emotional, meditation,etc etc. However, that knowledge just isn’t necessarily transferred to the emotional part of it all. Emotions are strong strong feelers and when all that they feel is pain and negatively, it becomes increasingly more difficult to find that positive core down and buried…

At least it didn’t snow before Halloween!! I must smile at the good things…

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Saying Goodbye Is a Never Easy…

November 3, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

My husband’s mom passed away last week. It was a bit eerie, because my phone rang around 5:00 or 6:00AM. When I answered the phone there was one of those awkward type calls that says something about my receiving a text to land line. “Goodbye.” That was it. Very precise and final, in that creepy automated voice. I sat there staring at my phone, somewhat creeped out, but pretty certain of the meaning behind the text. My brain was a bit off, still half asleep. I got back into bed and it felt so strange. Just a weird feeling I couldn’t or can’t quite get me head around it. It felt kind of off, like I wasn’t alone. Like I was being watched, but a bit more like watched over. However, it didn’t necessarily feel great either. It was cold, or I was cold, chilled actually. I sort of went back to a weird dream-like state, but not dead asleep, almost like watching myself as I had reels of times with Varia (both good and bad). For the most part, good memories, as my hubby would just pile us into the car and leave if there were anything inappropriate going on. He’d normally go in first to make sure things were okay and then come out to get us; which is why the reels of her are actually pretty positive. Not so much for my hubby. The reels moving through his brain are certainly negative, to say the least. I think he’s somewhat in denial and playing it cool. As well, he keeps pointing out everything she did that was less than maternal. I’m pretty sure that many emotions are careening inside his head, however, sadness is a difficult emotion for many men. I think he believes that the worse things he can recall and use, the less reason he has to be sad. Anger is an easier emotion for men. (And, yes, I know I’m totally using broad stereotypes, but, in this instance, the stereotypes fit my hubby perfectly.) So, I guess that we get to drive to Penticton, yet again, with good reason!!

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Ouch‼️ (Still…)

November 2, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry#bug bites, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

So my back is so bad that I can hardly move. I’m seeing the dr at the walk in clinic tonight 5:30. I been alternating between ice and heat and the dr gave me some muscle relaxants and anti-inflammatories. So I’m hoping they work a bit at least. Help me to get around a bit better and feel more comfortable when I sleep. Because of all the back BS I feel like I’ve gotten absolutely nothing done today. Which, I must admit, is pretty ironic after I’ve spent the past week sharing simple tips on how to do nothing. Look at me just snapping back into the world of, “do this” , “do that”, “no! It’s this way!” I just let myself slip out of the role that I’m fit into. It’s interesting, how quickly perceptions may shift. If I don’t feel well enough all day and get next to nothing done at home I feel horrible! I know or feel like my duties are being shucked aside, yet haven’t been completely finished by anyone. Or, my hubby will work forever and come home with nothing done. He doesn’t bug me about it. He just wishes the girls would take on more, especially when he’s out of town. Anyway, I have to get to bed, without the negativity. No more self-judgment for tonight.

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

The Spirit Scribe

I challenge myself to write 365 posts in 2016to heal Body, Mind & Spirit. Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Tag Archives: #pain

Too Late…

Day Is Done

Memories In A Bottle

Welcome To Penticton

A Short Note…

Time

I’ll Conquer You Pain!!

Thanx Life…

Saying Goodbye Is a Never Easy…

Ouch‼️ (Still…)