Today marks the first day of the dance competition season for my middle daughter. She is doing hip hop in this years competitions, even though she is also in grade 5 (RAD) ballet regular & exam class, non-syllabus ballet 3, intermediate jazz 1, non-syllabus Jazz 3 & a stretch class. She dances every week day, somedays more then once. I know I’m her mom, which makes me extremely biased, but she really is a good little dancer! She would love to compete in the other dance styles as well, but at the dance school she attends, the teachers choose who does or doesn’t compete. And, they, the teachers (mainly the “head” teacher, I believe) & the parents on the executive committee, don’t like me. It’s a long story, but basically, she competed a couple of years ago, then wasn’t asked to compete again the following year. She was devastated and I was angry. I wrote a very long letter to the teacher, which she really didn’t appreciate. Apparently she would rather not have someone point out how flawed their system is! My mom also wrote a letter because she saw how heartbroken her granddaughter was. I guess this is why they don’t like me?? I find it a bit strange that they were so upset over a letter, as I know of numerous parents who’ve gotten into major screaming, over the top, arguments with the dance teacher, on more then one occasion. I’m usually one of the pretty quiet parents who doesn’t complain about every little thing. All I did was write a letter expressing my anger and begging them to reconsider, and now they will never invite my daughter into performing again. I blame myself for her never being asked to join again. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I’m not one of those super annoying, always complaining, always finding and pointing out fault type of parents. For the most part I’m usually quiet, kind and respectful… For pete’s sake, all I did was write a letter!!! Anyway, this year, she gets to compete in hip hop. There is a new instructor for hip hop this year and he just made the assumption that all of the kids in his class compete. (Imagine that! What a strange, refreshing & inclusive idea!!) So, she gets to compete this year.
I am concerned about tonight’s competition because she is super sick right now. Her little nose won’t stop pouring and is bright red, which isn’t that big of a deal. However, she has the most horrible cough! It’s one of those loud, hacking, almost like a barking sound, coughs. It is so out of control! I’m worried about her getting through the dance without coughing and hacking uncontrollably! She is excited about getting to compete again this year, but it’s frustrating that she has this damn cough. (My words, not hers – lol!!) So, please cross your fingers, send positive healing energy, say a little prayer or do whatever it is that you do to send love and luck to her!!
Here’s the other thing about the whole dance competition scene, I am so not a “dance mom”!! I mean not at all! Now don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love to watch my daughter dance. I could watch her all day. No, what I mean is that I’m not one of those over the top, my daughter rules, she’s clearly better then everyone, I had her practice 3 hours a day while drilling her, she only wears top of the line & perfect, I might add, makeup, as do I, etc etc… Nope! Not me! I am not to be found anywhere on that scale of crazy. I really stand out, I mean really! I just don’t “fit in”. My clothes aren’t all Roxy or Lou Lou or any of the other “name brand” clothes. I do not think that I or my daughter is better then everyone, I’m nice to everyone, not just select people, I’m not living my life through my daughters, I don’t eat, think and breath only dance, I know that the world will not end if she doesn’t get the highest ranks in everything, &, well, I’m just pretty darn sure that most of “those moms” don’t like me, I mean at all! Gosh, it sure sounds like high school – lol!! There are just so many “politics” with this dance school, not sure if that’s the best word really, but you probably understand what I mean. It’s all about who you know, who does or doesn’t like you &/or your daughter, who chums up with the teachers, which students are the teachers favourites, etc. etc. I find it exhausting actually. It feels so much like playing games, picking favourites, signing up on the right committees, you have to look the part, act the part, jump through the right hoops, etc. I just really don’t want to play those games. It’s a bad system that promotes bullying, by the parents &, in turn, by the kids! You and your dancer have to be a part of the right cliques if you want to go far with this dance studio. I’ve witnessed so many children with broken hearts at this dance school, not just my own daughters, and it is heart wrenching! Oh, I also believe that all kids should have the opportunity to compete, if they & their parents want them to!
I’m thinking that I probably shouldn’t be writing about all of this on here. I’m pretty darn sure that the people who would be super angry and offended don’t read this. But, I’m already on their naughty list. I guess that I’m being hypocritical, saying I’m quiet & that I don’t complain, but then complain like crazy here. I didn’t intend for this to come out in the way it did. I guess I needed to vent. I also need to just keep quiet & let my daughter enjoy this year. Also, not every single person at this dance studio is horrible. I think it’s the whole mamma bear thing, when you see your child hurting, you go into the protector role. I wish there was a way to fix everything, so that my daughter could be taken off of the permanently uninvited list of kids! I would take her to a different dance school so that she could have a fresh start, but I feel horrible a lot of the time, with my stupid pain, and I wouldn’t always be able to drive her to the city. It’s just so convenient going to the local dance studio in our town.
I apologize for going crazy and venting. This and the previous paragraph are updated, since I can’t really un-post this!! I really do hope that she and all of the other dancers have fun tonight and do well. I also apologize again for my ranting. I truly don’t want to make things worse for her at this studio. I want her to have a fun year.
Here I am with another update! We just got home from the dance festival and my daughters class got gold. Yay yay!!
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The Spirit Scribe 