Tag Archives: #pain

Sunny Days

May 22, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

A crazy, lazy day. I’m feeling like I did and accomplished nothing today. For some reason I’ve had a tough week. I feel like a lump. Well, a lump with a very long “to do” list that rarely gets done. I have all of these intentions, especially at night when I finally lie down and find some quiet time. I think of all of the things I should be doing, daily, to gradually work towards the land of the living. I know I’ve been depressed and the winter months never help that. Now that it is nice outside it lifts my mood a bit. To go out in the sunshine. Get some fresh air and some vitamin D. It makes things seem more possible. Reminds me that there is life outside of my house. I’ve turned into such a hermit over the past couple of years. Doing less and less. So, today was one of those “feel like a lump” days. But, with spring and sun, come joy and health. I can sense it…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

These Precious Emotions

May 21, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

A downward spiral drags down my soul

Leaving me burdened with beautiful pain

Drowning my fears of fire and coal

Weighed down with sorrow I can’t explain

My heart seeks redemption it can’t know

Drenching me in guilt and shame

My smile falters almost allowing it to show

But these precious emotions are quick to tame

JKC

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Today It Enforced Its Reign

May 19, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

My damn face is bad, so bad today, I’m not sure what to do

It burns and burns and lights my face afire with flames of blue

It shoots and streaks across my cheek with fireworks of pain

Taking control of everything, today it enforced its reign…

JKC

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Yawn

May 18, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Well, we’re home. Although, looking back, it’s probably not a good idea to write on here that we were out of town for the long weekend. Not that I have this big readership of people. Also, even if I did, I’m pretty sure that my actual address isn’t available on here. But, regardless, it’s probably not a good idea to write about being out of town.

And now, speaking of being out of town, I apologize for the pathetic posts I made over the weekend. I had an awful wifi over the weekend. We tried to use my husband’s phone as a wifi “hot spot”. This didn’t work, it kept going on & off. I was trying to write on the iPad using his phone’s wifi, but the connection wasn’t strong enough. Every time I tried to save anything it would disconnect. Then I tried to use my phone and the same thing continued to happen. So, my posts were all pretty disjointed…

Yawn! Now that we’re home, I’m pretty tired. We always have a good time at he cabin, but I come home tired. My brain is making a valiant attempt at pushing past my skull and oozing out through my ears, eyes and nose. Too much pressure! And, my face won’t let up. Arg… I can’t focus well. Too much ouch right now! I need to get ready for bed and have a long sleep tonight. It feels like it should be midnight right now. I actually slept fairly well at the cabin, probably because I added one of those gel-infused memory-foam mattress topper things to our bed. I really enjoy our time at the lake, but generally I don’t get a great sleep when we’re there. I always sleep best at home, in my own bed, but I definitely had a better sleep with the mattress topper.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Strange, Where The Mind Goes…

May 15, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

I had a full day today. Went to Costco with my mom (I know that doesn’t sound like much, but it took a long time…there’re always so many things to check out – often distractions that you don’t really need to buy or, for that matter, even bother looking at – but, I take the time to look anyway! Also, I always end up buying more than I go for! Everything always seems like “Oh, it’s such a good deal!!” And then you buy something you didn’t really need or want in the first place – lol). By the time we left Costco and went to my parent’s to drop off my mom & pick up my little man (he got to hang out with Grandad, instead of being stuck at boring Costco) it was close to 5:00. We drove home, just in time to be engulfed by rush-hour traffic! (Well planned, right!?) By the time we got home, my hubby got home only about 30 minutes or so after us. Before we went out, to see the new Avengers movie, my wonderful family gave me a homemade coupon book full of things that they’ll do for me whenever I “use” or “hand-in”a coupon. Including a drawing course from my hubby!! (Yay me!!) I’ve dabbled a bit with water colour painting among other mediums. I really enjoy it. I grew up always always wishing I could draw (my sister is such a good drawer and I envied it so so much!!). I’ve felt like one of those people who could basically draw stick-people and not much more. (Sometimes even my stick-people were hard to decipher!!) I was always interested, but felt like I couldn’t do anything artistic! Like I had a big fat zero when it came to artistic talent! But, it was something that was always in the back of my mind, something I wanted to do, but didn’t follow through with. When I did the water colour courses and the creative journaling class I always felt good, or right somehow…not sure if that makes sense. I just feel this tug from my chest that pulls me towards writing and painting and drawing, well, just to “create”. It feels like home. The problem is my unstoppable tendency toward self-criticism!! In those art classes and when I muddle around at home, I still find myself struggling. Drawing is not easy for me and I have to work at things for a very long time. I realized that I am missing some of the basics. In school, once you get to a certain age, art class becomes optional and only the “talented, artsy, kids” continue with art class. This is sad because the “how to” of drawing is taught to the kids who continue. They learn the “tricks” or rather the skills needed. They learn how to draw! The rest of us just shake it off, with a little shrug or self-conscious giggle, when asked if they can draw. But, the more I read, the more I see that drawing is a skill. Yes, some people are naturally artistic and talented, but that doesn’t mean the rest of us just “can’t draw”. No, it means we were never taught to draw! So, my point is, that I love the idea of drawing and I lose myself, not just while writing, but when I paint or do anything “artsy”. I’ve wanted to take a “how to draw” class for a long time. I’m hoping that I can find a class that will work out, time-wise, for me!! And, it’s super late and I don’t know how I went from a quick account of my day to a talk about art…strange where the mind goes!

Oh, before I post this, I want to thank everyone for the warm birthday wishes! Much much appreciated. I’m blessed to have such good family & friends😍

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I Hate The Word Hate…

May 13, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Another day with a migraine! It hasn’t stopped all bloody week! Ug!!! I’m so so f…ing wanting it to get the hell gone!! Sorry for the language. I’m just feeling at my wits-end. My face is worse today than it’s been in quite some time. I’m not sure why. I wish I knew why. I wish there was a way to know…when it would strike, how bad it would be, how long it’s going to stay…Well, I do know some triggers; the number of hours of sleep I get, how much stress I am dealing with, a cold wind or often my car’s air conditioning, a peck on the cheek, a touch, probably how bad other things are, like my migraines. The thing is that most often, it’s completely unpredictable. Sometimes none of these things lead to pain. So, it is hard to know, day to day, where I’ll be at. So, today, it’s bad. Really bad. And, if I haven’t mentioned this yet, I HATE IT!!! It’s funny, I hardly ever used to use that word, “hate”. I have had talks with my kids about that word. I talked to them about how harsh, absolute and cold it is. When I hear it, especially when it’s about another person. I can feel myself physically cringe. Yet here I am using it over and over again! Yes, it’s not directed at someone, but it is still the same word and carries the same meaning with it. All of the same connotations. Allowing it into my day to day vocabulary brings that negatively with it. I need to find a way to dig myself up and out of the pile of negativity that I’ve been drowning in. The negativity is easy to see, especially if you have read a few of my posts. The problem is that I’ve allowed it to seep into everything! I feel like I’m infused with negative energy. As if I’m just marinated in negativity! I see it everywhere now. I get upset easier, I get frustrated, overwhelmed, angry, defensive… I am also getting less and less adept at hiding everything. I’ve always been very good at the whole “I’m okay”, “I’m fine”, with the smile on my face, type of person. But now, it’s getting harder and harder to hold it all together. The other thing is that I have stopped caring about things, stopped putting effort into things. I find myself dragging myself from point A to point B. I currently have no motivation. On days like today, I’m just done. Period. Hope my birthday brings a better day with it…I guess I’ll see tomorrow.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

MIA Post…

May 12, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

My Mother’s Day poem is gone!!!😔 this makes me super-d-duper sad. I was chatting with someone in the “support” department, but now I can’t find where that is. Clearly I’m a tech genius! I’m not sure what gave my prowess for I.T. away…I’ve been trying to keep that side of me a secret, but, alas, it’s been revealed to the world. Please don’t overwhelm me with texts, phone calls and/or emails asking for assistance with your various devices. I wouldn’t want to be used for my tech skills 😂! Meanwhile, I’m so tech savvy that I can’t find the chat thing where I was just talking to the guy about my post…I feel like this happened before and I found a way to restore it. The weird thing is that it’s just gone. I didn’t accidentally delete or anything. It’s just “poof” gone. I probably wouldn’t have even noticed if my mom hadn’t gone back to read it. She texted me asking why it wasn’t there anymore. Of course the post I lose is one of the ones I enjoyed, not just one like yesterday’s, when I’m feeling so bad that I just basically write three or four sentences and call it good. So now I should probably figure out where the support chat thing disappeared to! Hopefully I will be able to add more later!!

Well, the Mother’s Day post is still MIA😞. It makes me sad. Also, I don’t really understand how it can just be gone. I’m the only one who is able to add or delete posts to my blog, so how in the world does an entire post just “poof” vanish? It’s very strange. The tech person who said that he’s looking into it hasn’t gotten back to me yet. I know that the world won’t end if it’s not recovered. It just frustrates me. The poem was my Mother’s Day “gift” to my mom and I don’t have it written down anywhere else 🙍🏼 Also, it messes up my “post every day” challenge I’ve made for myself. I haven’t missed a day yet, but now I no longer have one of my posts…And, yes, I’m sorry to say this is all I’m going to write about today. I’ve had this a migraine 💆🏼for two days straight now and it makes it extremely difficult to focus.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Dare To Dream

May 9, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

From the vault…

Open your mind and close your eyes,

Let your dreams take you away.

Spread your wings, fly up and beyond.

Where will you go today?

Dare to dream and set yourself free,

Leave your fears behind.

Allow yourself to float on the clouds

And feel yourself unwind.

Visit a tropical island

Or swim in a waterfall.

Climb the highest mountain.

Do anything at all!

Live your dreams from day to day.

Don’t put limits on yourself.

Believe that you can do it all

And your life will grow with wealth.

So keep your dreams alive and true,

By reminding yourself each day,

Just close your eyes and say these words,

They’ll lead you on your way…

My spirit dances with the wind.

My soul floats on the sea.

My heart sings songs of joy and love.

This is the place for me.

JKC

Yes, I changed the last two words. I’ve always wanted to, but how do you erase paint????

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Everything Will Be Okay

May 8, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Tired tired tired today. Just don’t feel up to much. We’re going bowling tomorrow for my little man’s birthday. I’m hoping that I’ll feel better, have more energy or something. Because just thinking about running a 5 year olds birthday party leaves me exhausted. I know that sounds negative, but I get tired so so easily. Grocery shopping leaves me exhausted. Cooking supper, washing dishes, just day-to-day functioning leaves me done in. So I look at things like tomorrow’s party with mixed feelings; anticipation, because it’s his first time bowling and first birthday party that he’s invited friends from school to and he’s so so excited and I just love seeing him so happy and excited. And, I also feel some dread or maybe worry about how I will feel tomorrow, physically I mean, both in the morning and after the party. I do know that worrying won’t help and, if anything, it makes things worse. I know that, even if I end up having a rough day, I will get through it. I will be fine. The party will work out fine. Everything will be okay. I will just repeat that mantra a few times, or over and over, while I go to sleep. “Everything will be okay.”

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

This Joyful Mask

May 7, 2015Uncategorized# atypical facial pain, # kids, # laser therapy, #acute pain, #Beaumont AB, #chronic fatigue, #chronic pain, #clinical depression, #dependency, #edmonton, #facial pain, #lasertherapy, #mairrage, #medication, #meditation for pain relief, #meditech, #MVD surgery, #neuroplasticity, #pain, #pain relief, #pain sensitization, #parenting, #poetry, #Striking Back, #TN, #TN research, #trigeminal neuralgia, #www.tnnme.com, #www.zazzle.com, #yoga for pain reliefJenn

Around and around we go again.

Will there ever be an after?

Will there ever be an end?

It comes, it goes.

It starts, it stops.

I try to hide it, but I think it still shows.

This joyful mask I wear.

A smile or laugh, to hide behind,

When the pain’s too much to bear…

JKC
To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

The Spirit Scribe

I challenge myself to write 365 posts in 2016to heal Body, Mind & Spirit. Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Tag Archives: #pain

Sunny Days

These Precious Emotions

Today It Enforced Its Reign

Yawn

Strange, Where The Mind Goes…

I Hate The Word Hate…

MIA Post…

Dare To Dream

Everything Will Be Okay

This Joyful Mask