My body’s been all over today! I’ve gone from freezing and drinking tea, to sweating so badly that it looks like I’ve just splashed water on my face. The sweating happened while I was exerting myself by putting hair dye in or I guess on sounds better. Yes, on, while I was putting hair dye on my daughter’s hair. Of course that was super inconvenient because I had those lovely plasticky hair-dye gloves on and, of course, they were covered in dye. So, as sweat was pouring down my face and into my eyes, I couldn’t easily wipe it off. My daughter would give me clumps of toilet paper to wipe my face with. I don’t know why I was so bad. I was on a medication that can cause severe sweats (the med info uses a more scientific term). However, my pain Dr changed my medication, so I’m not longer on that one. Hmmm. It was strange because it was so bad. Not just the whole feeling really hot in the house because it’s a nice, sunny day outside. Nope it was ridiculous! And, I’m certain that everyone was looking forward to reading all about my sweaty day…yep! That’s it for today. Sorry to disappoint…lol! Just super tired and off to bed.  

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Had a strangely long day today. Not sure why it’s felt like that though. I haven’t actually done all that much, but it feels like it’s been stretched out. I also have had an anxious feeling in my gut all day today. It’s weird, I don’t know what it’s all about…like something’s wrong or I’m forgetting something important. I’m not 100% sure what it’s about. I do know that some of it is due to my rash, emotional decision I made yesterday to take in a puppy that needed some love. I was only thinking about myself and how much I needed to do something, anything… I have been in “I don’t give a shit!” / “I give up!” mode for a while. Just doing nothing really, for myself or my family. I’ve just turned into a fat lump, one who just moves between bed, the couch and back to bed. If I have to get the kids or something, then I do it, but otherwise, I just do nothing. I mean nothing! I avoid people. I don’t get out socially. I don’t really want to be seen. I feel embarrassed and ashamed about how much weight I’ve gained. Pretty much the only thing that I do is write this every day. Then when I read the ad about a young woman (not yet 30 I’d guess) who was diagnosed with a debilitating disease, who was on her own, living in an apartment with 4 dogs and 2 cats (one 25lb one!), who could no longer care for them and needed to re-home them. I just thought, hey, I could do that. I could help her. I can’t imagine being alone, without the love and support of my family. My hubby, my kids, my mom & dad, my good friends… I saw that it can be worse. I could be alone. I’m not alone and she is, and I so so just wanted to feel useful and worthy of something. I wanted something that would make me feel good about myself. So, I called her and met with her and brought her adorable, little puppy to our house. This girl, who seems to have a heart of gold, found this poor little girl abandoned and alone out at night. She was dirty and matted and starving. And, she took her in. Even though she already had 3 dogs (one who had been rescued from an abusive and awful situation), in an apartment!! She got her cleaned up. Took her to the vet. They posted ads, on-line and paper ads, but no-one claimed her. And then about a month later this kind young lady got sick. She needed help. So, I wanted to help. The thing about all of this and whether or not my intentions were good, is that I should have spoken to my husband first. I let myself get so drawn in that I forgot to stop and talk to the person that does so much for me. I was selfish and I’m sorry. He knows this, we’ve talked through it, but I’m still feeling bad. I love him so much and I am so used to him just being there for everything, no questions asked. Well, I know, now, that I took advantage of him and it was wrong. I am so thankful for that man!!😘

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Lazy lazy lazy. I make myself so crazy. So many things to do. Piles and piles to go through…

I think this will turn out to be my shortest post! I don’t know why, but I still really feel rundown. Like from the moment I woke up! I felt like dead weight. Just didn’t feel like moving. All day it’s felt that way, just dragging my butt! I’m just completely sapped of energy. Then my stupid face thought it’d be fun to join in on the party! Nope…

I need sleep. So so badly! Bye until tomorrow!

(Clearly my shortest post yet!)

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Saw my doctor today. Then wasted the day away. Tried to pick up a dress. But our plans turned into a mess. Came home all tired out. Had plenty to whine about. Feel like that’s always the case. Turning things into a disgrace. Always a mix of good and bad. As long as there’s more good to be had. Have to search for the best. Give the negative a rest. Find some good in everything. Life should make you sing. Take time for those you love. Put nothing else above. Life’s too short to waste away. So prioritize each and every day. 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Today was rough. I know I say that a lot, but it was really really ridiculously rough. And, yes, I realize that I say that all of the time too. I’m kind of like a broken record… Today’s issue, on top of the regular crap, was that I somehow managed to not take any of my pills before bed last night! Not one! Both Thursday and Friday night I had a really hard time falling asleep. So last night I felt just exhausted. Before bed, as part of my regular night-time routine, I put all of my pills into one of those little medicine cup things. I always do that before taking any of them to make sure I don’t miss any. The light fixture in our master bathroom blew out Friday morning. Not just the bulbs, but the actual thing started sparking and basically self-destructed. So, not only was I falling asleep standing up, but I was getting ready for bed in a dark bathroom. I had a bit of a glow from the light on my fish tank. I couldn’t even turn the main light on in our bedroom because the dimmer switch broke, so I couldn’t turn that light on either! (Yes, we have that kind of great luck!!) Anyway, I got all of my pills ready, as per usual, and was talking with my daughter at the same time. I guess I set the pill cup on the medicine chest (medicine chest??? I think that’s the first time I’ve ever called it that – lol!!) I then said good night to my daughter and went to bed. I was so tired that I fell asleep (which I normally can’t do without meds!) I had the weirdest dream and woke up a couple times with chest pains, feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I woke up early, which is way out of character for me! I was sweating and shivering and had a fever and a rotten headache. I went into my dark bathroom to have some water and take my morning pills. I thought I was coming down with something. Then, 🎶dum dum dum🎶, I saw the medicine cup still filled with last nights pills! And, for those of you who don’t know, I am not supposed to just suddenly stop taking any of my medications. I could have a seizure or a heart attack or something equally bad. So, I obviously didn’t have either of those, but I did get a nice fun dose of withdrawal…ALL DAY!!!! I couldn’t take the night -time pills until now, finally. My pulse is still vibrating and I’m still fevery…I never, ever want to feel like this again!! Not ever!!!  So, note to self, 💊💊DON’T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR PILLS!!💊💊

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

I was supposed to go for dinner tonight with one of my oldest best friends. We’ve been friends since grade school. She had a free night tonight, her youngest son had a sleepover to go to and her husband was out of town with their oldest son, for hockey or something. She was going to drive to town and treat me for dinner. But, as fate would have it, or rather how my life would have it, I just didn’t feel up to it tonight. My hubby and I had to go grocery shopping, our cupboard and fridge were getting bare so I couldn’t put it off any longer. We’ve been doing these quick shops. You know, those ones when you need to get “just a couple things” and then you end up with a full basket. In the long run, these kind of in the moment shopping trips cost us more money then the longer, more expensive, big shops because the little shopping excursions happen almost every second day. When we do a big shop, with a plan, it costs more at the time, but we don’t have to run out to the store as much throughout the week. So, I had planned on complaining about not feeling well enough to go dinner with my good friend. It’s pretty pathetic that just grocery shopping does me in. Well, I’m going to bed now.

Jo, I hope that you had a good night and that you were able to take advantage of having a night to yourself. Sorry I didn’t get to see you tonight 😓. Hopefully I’ll see you soon. 😘

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Well, it certainly is late!! Therefore, this is going to be a fairly short post. I don’t even know why I’m still awake. No particular reason. I really should be in bed, like the rest of my family. But, it sure is nice and quiet. Somehow I just completely lost track of the time. I even had a rough day and should have been asleep hours ago. Now this will throw off my whole day tomorrow. Huh. Maybe I just crave the calm and peacefulness that comes in the night. Everything’s at rest, silent and safe. I recently read somewhere, I can’t remember where, that it’s common for writers to be up during the middle of the night. That many find it the perfect time for writing and that most of their best work comes at night.

Not that I officially see myself as a “writer”…yet. I certainly feel at home and  free when I’m writing. But, I don’t know if that actually makes me a “writer” or not. When does someone get to call themselves a “writer”? Do you have to have something published first? Is there some right of passage? Or can I just say I’m a “writer” whenever I feel like it? I don’t know if I’ve earned that title yet.  I know that my writing has definitely slipped some, since back in my university days. You just need to re-read the last few sentences to find grammatical errors! Although, I’m not really sure if grammar matters all that much in this type of writing. It’s not like I’m going to be graded on my blog posts or something. It’s just that, back when I was in university, I had to write papers so often that it kept me on my toes. I had to actually pay attention to details like grammar. Also, I had a great editor, aka my Momma 👵🏼! However, now I feel like I’ve forgotten so many things, things that used to just come by rote; like, should that just have been a coma instead of a semi-colan? Is semi-colan supposed to have a dash or is it actually just one word? Should I have inserted a coma up there before the word “but” instead of starting a sentence with the word “but”? Should that question mark be in the quotation marks or after it, as I put it?  See? So many errors grammatically. Does it matter though? It’s not like this is going to be published and I need to get an editor or something. And, if I ever do need an editor, in addition to my Momma👵🏼, I would ask my on-line friend, author and editor Rebecca Hamilton – she has definitely earned that “writer” title I so crave, actually, she’s not just a “writer”, she’s an “author” which is my dream!!! (As a side note, Becca’s newest book that she co-wrote with author Conner Kressley, titled “Taken By The Beast” is a BBW Paranormal Romance written as a spin on Beauty and the Beast, is available on Amazon for only $.99!! Hopefully on both the Canadian Amazon, not just the American. I haven’t read it yet, but for that price it’s worth a peek right? Yes, I just threw this little plug in here for her! It wasn’t intentional, it just kind of happened- lol! She didn’t ask me to or anything, but she is just such a beautiful and kind person, deserving every plug she gets!!!) So, was this entire post even actually about anything or did I just waste 5 minutes of your time that you’ll never get back!! Hee Hee Hee!!😏

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

It’s so easy to take what we have for granted. To move through our days from task to task without thinking much about it. We have our to do lists, which often are never-ending. There always seems to be “just one more thing” that needs to be done. Something else always gets added to the list. So we drag ourselves through the day, rushing through everything. We find ourselves flopping into bed at night, exhausted and just done. Then you lie there in bed, a million things running through your mind. The very same lists of things that you are trying so hard to get finished during the day end up keeping you up at night. Then, finally, you drift off into a fitful sleep, only to wake up and start it all over again. So, how do we stop the cycle? When do we get to “stop to smell the roses?” To enjoy? To live and love and do the things that bring you joy? Well, I don’t have an answer for that, not yet. I’m searching for a way though. I’m determined to find it. When you live with this pain, this bloody stabbing, searing, shooting pain, well, it makes you look at your life. It makes the non-essential things fall away. It makes you see what you have, what’s important and what’s not. My family ends up at the very top of the list. I’m so very lucky and thankful for my family. I am loved and cherished. I am blessed🙏🏼

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

My son graduated from playschool today. Really, there was an actual “graduation ceremony” for playschool! I mean, don’t get me wrong, they were super cute. I just feel like it’s a bit over the top. They do these ceremonies so often now. You may think I’m jaded because it’s my third child and it’s like “been there done that”. However, I feel pretty much the opposite of that. Everything my son accomplishes is bitter-sweet to me. It’ll be the last time I go to a cheesy playschool grad and, believe me, I know it. But, really, I think that a lot of these ceremonies are over doing it. The thing is, does it take away from the big milestones? If there’s a ceremony for everything does it start to seem common place? Like oh yah, another school thing, bla bla bla… I do believe in encouraging our children, positive reinforcement and celebrating their accomplishments day to day & yadda yadda yadda. I just wonder, if there are too many ceremonies and everything is turned into a “big thing”, does the actual definition of what constitutes a “big achievement” change? Just thoughts…he was a cutie-pie though, with his little tie and vest! (Insert “sigh” here) My kids are growing up too fast…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

So, I’m writing this at 11:11 which is the best time of the day! If you glance at he clock and it’s 11:11 you get to make a wish! It’s the only time when you will see 4 of the same numbers on he clock, unless you use a 24 hour clock, then you have 22:22, which is divisible by 11. My son has come up with the idea that you can get more wishes if you see 11:11 on more than one clock! So, when he sees that it’s 11:11, he will attempt to look at as many digital clocks as possible, my phone, the iPads, the dock, the alarm-clock, the pvr, etc. I never really thought about how many digital clocks we have around the house until he started doing this. I mean seriously, he can end up with a lot of wishes!! However, he is starting to question the whole “wish” thing, because none of his wishes come true. If you think about what 5 year old boys (or all 5 year olds) wish for, well, it’s not all that surprising that the wishes aren’t instantly granted. (& kids truly believe in these kinds of things, fairy tales, Disney movies, transformers…) So, when the 5 year old wakes up and Spider-Man isn’t joining them at the table for breakfast, well… They’re thinking what the hell is wrong with the whole wish thing anyway? (Perhaps not in those words – lol!) So then it’s time to question the whole process…Did they not say it loud enough or maybe they shouldn’t have said it out loud at all or maybe the clock changed just as he was closing his eyes, so it doesn’t count or maybe Spider-Man was super busy because some major crime occurred because the Green Goblin broke out of jail, again…(I really think that the prisons need to amp up the security measures or something, because these bad guys just never stay locked up. Also, they never die, like ever! And, even when they do “die” there is always some incredible twist and/or explosion and/or radioactive chemical that miraculously revives them. Just like all of these guys, good & bad, seem to get their powers after some sort of radioactive chemicals, with or without an explosion, usually with! I mean, seriously, these “secret laboratories” really need to look into there safety measures. The accidents just keep happening over and over…) Well, happy wishing! 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!