Would you look at the time…2:22AM‼️ So so so crazy! My baby had her graduation🎓 reception this evening. So, we (as in myself, my daughter, her best friend & for the makeup part, my son) had a full day getting ready for it🛀🏼.Well, she got the hair done pretty early and fortunately out neighbour is a hair dresser💇🏼. So, she took my daughter to the salon and did an amazing job, her hair was super beautiful! Her best friend had her hair styled after and the result was stunning!!

The girls walked home from the salon, it was about 1:00PM. Once their hair was finished and we had a short lull, during which we had to do some very difficult math…figure out when to leave…This may not sound all that difficult, but apparently once you officially graduate, you simultaneously lose all of your math abilities. However, we need not panic, as almost all of the graduates have smart phones to assist them! Once we finally figured out when we should be leaving, we had to actually get going…⌛️lol. So, we got into the van to head off to Southgate Mall to go to MAC to get their makeup done. The girls got transformed and looked amazing! Not that they aren’t always beautiful, this makeover was for a formal event, so they had much more than day to day makeup. So, all I can say here is ♨️♨️WOW♨️♨️ ‼️ (they were smoking hot!! As one of my best friends loves to say!!) the makeup took much longer than we thought it would. Watching the clock⏰, I just knew that we were running out of time😱💆🏼. Their was a girl who had no appointments, so she did my eye makeup for me. I knew that if I didn’t get something done there, I just wouldn’t have makeup on…🙋🏼pick me…please! My daughter and her friend were the VIP’s, so my makeup wasn’t a priority, just a, hey you’re available, could you please just put a bit of makeup on my eyes??? So, this all took far longer than expected. We were still in the city and had to drive home, 🚘 through rush hour of course! We were leaving Southgate at about 4:30, which is actually when I told my friend we’d be dropping my son off at her house!! And, we had to drive to Beaumont, in order to get their dresses on. Then, we had to go back into the city all of the way to Northlands, for the reception. Yes, we did not arrive at 5:30, which was when they were opening the doors. Nope, we got their at 6:30, just in time for the grads to walk around the room in the graduates processional. She was so so beautiful! Her boyfriend showed up, which is so so good (even though she was still angry with him for not talking to her for A WEEK!!!  So, there is so much more that I could write about today. I’ll try to continue the conversation tomorrow. I can hard, and keep my eyes open and I’m seeing two different iPad screens at the same time. I so so need to rest now…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Well, she did it! My baby girl walked across the stage 🎓…wow! Hard to believe, but it’s true. She graduated 🎓…😥. I don’t know if I’m sad or happy. I guess it’s both. So so crazy… I love her so so much & I’m so proud of her. It was a great ceremony, it actually didn’t take too long. They got in all of the requisite speeches, introductions, etc. A bit repetitive, but I understand that they’re necessary. Overall, it was a good ceremony, especially considering there were almost 200 graduates and it easily could’ve dragged on! The main point is that my baby graduated!!🎓 One down two to go (lol)!!!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Today is the second day with my youngest daughter away. I didn’t really mean to rhyme, it just happens all the time. Things I start to say just end up that way.  My words just tumble out, if I whisper or I shout. So my little girl’s away and will be for a few more days. I know she’ll be just fine, filled with memories from this time. At home we’re making memories too, we have so many things to do. My oldest graduates on the the morrow, it fills my heart with joy and sorrow. I’m so very proud of her, she’s all grown up, that’s for sure! Not much sorrow, just a tad, I’m clinging on a little too bad. I love her so and I’m hanging on tight, though I’m sure everything will be alright. She’s beautiful, funny and really smart. A new stage in her life is about to start. I love my girls and my little man too. They give me purpose in all I do. I’m lucky and have so much I’m thankful for. My family just makes my heart soar!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Bon voyage! And they’re off!! My little girl got onto a plane early this morning without us… I’m sure that she’s going to have an amazing time. They get to go on numerous tours and see so many things. She was super anxious about flying, as I mentioned last night. The landing of their plane was a bit rough and the pilot had to do a 2nd run at it! It’s one of those Murphy’s law things, that the flight she was on was a bit rough. But, they survived and everything is good. She texted to say goodnight, so that means she also got through the haunted walk that she was worrying about. It’s weird thinking about how far she is from home. I know that she’s safe and having fun, I just want to keep her safe, now and forever. I know that this trip will be an awesome experience for her. I also know that I can’t always be there, looking over her shoulder, making sure everything’s all right. I have to hope that we have given her the tools to make good choices, to be kind, to be honest, etc etc. The only way for her to become all of these things is by letting her get out in the world. Not just on a school trip, but in general. She needs to get her feet wet, make her own mistakes, have good times and hard times, and to figure out how to work through difficult situations without needing to be rescued. As far as I’m concerned, parenting is the most difficult job there is. I make my mistakes and I’m not even close to being perfect, no one is, but I’m hoping that we’ve done enough to get her through this trip without us. We can only guide her and do our best and hope that she can do the same. And that is all we can do. 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Actually got moving at a pretty normal time today. I made it to my laser appointment on time! If you know me well you will understand that a small thing, like not being late, is an accomplishment. I’ll take what I can get… On the way home I stopped to buy a small present for my daughter for her graduation. I just felt the need to buy something. We bought her a grad ring and that was technically our graduation gift for her. However, I still felt like we should have something to give to her. I’m actually feeling like I can’t even keep my eyes open right now. I don’t know why, but it just hit me. Bla… I have to get up super early tomorrow to drive my daughter to the airport. Like really really early. I thinks about 5:00AM. So, I really need to get to bed now. Sorry this is so short tonight!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

We’re about to begin a big week for both of our girls! My youngest daughter is leaving early Tuesday morning for her school trip to Quebec, Ottawa and Montreal. She’s feeling both excited and nervous. She’s a pretty anxious flyer. The seat order on the plane is being decided by the teachers, but she’s really hoping to sit beside one of her friends. It would make her more comfortable which will help with the anxiety. Also, the very first evening they are going on a guided “haunted” walk. She gets freaked out fairly easily. The Harry Potter books scared her (she couldn’t even finish the first one!) Her friends were sending creepy chain texts saying things like “if you don’t forward this letter to at least 10 people, the ghost of a murdered child will appear in your bedroom at 3:00 in the morning and haunt you and your family for the rest of your days.” She couldn’t sleep she was so scared. My poor hubby slept on the couch for about a week! (I actually ended up contacting many of the parents to ask them to have their kids remove my daughter from the group text list, if their kids were going to be sending any of those types of texts.) Anyway, my point is, she really scares easily and on their very first night away from home, they are going on a haunted walk!! Dumb dumb dumb… All of the tours are mandatory, which I do absolutely understand, but I’ve emailed the teacher to let them know she’s truly very scared, so they don’t get mad at her if she has her headphones on and is listening to music during he tour (as this is what I told her to do.) I’m sure she’ll have a great time. I am so glad that she has the opportunity to go on this trip! 

This Thursday evening is our oldest daughter’s graduation ceremony. Then the grad reception is on Friday. I’m not sure I’ve actually wrapped my head or my heart around that yet..the idea that my baby is graduating!! How can this be?? My little girl is finished high school and will turn 18 this summer!! Seriously!! I think I’m in denial. Also, I don’t feel like I’m old enough to have a child graduating from high school. Age is such a strange thing. I don’t feel that “old”, on the inside, if you know what I mean. I realize that it’s been a long time since my high school days, but sometimes it doesn’t actually feel that way. Or maybe I just really am in denial and don’t want to let go. I don’t know, time is so strange…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Collecting thoughts inside his head 

He can’t voice the words he’s never said

Scrambled emotions flit and dart

Threatening to blow his brain apart

Controlled and calm on the outside

Pretends all is well to save his pride 

The facade remains, driven by his fear

The price of candor is far too dear
JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

My body’s been all over today! I’ve gone from freezing and drinking tea, to sweating so badly that it looks like I’ve just splashed water on my face. The sweating happened while I was exerting myself by putting hair dye in or I guess on sounds better. Yes, on, while I was putting hair dye on my daughter’s hair. Of course that was super inconvenient because I had those lovely plasticky hair-dye gloves on and, of course, they were covered in dye. So, as sweat was pouring down my face and into my eyes, I couldn’t easily wipe it off. My daughter would give me clumps of toilet paper to wipe my face with. I don’t know why I was so bad. I was on a medication that can cause severe sweats (the med info uses a more scientific term). However, my pain Dr changed my medication, so I’m not longer on that one. Hmmm. It was strange because it was so bad. Not just the whole feeling really hot in the house because it’s a nice, sunny day outside. Nope it was ridiculous! And, I’m certain that everyone was looking forward to reading all about my sweaty day…yep! That’s it for today. Sorry to disappoint…lol! Just super tired and off to bed.  

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Had a strangely long day today. Not sure why it’s felt like that though. I haven’t actually done all that much, but it feels like it’s been stretched out. I also have had an anxious feeling in my gut all day today. It’s weird, I don’t know what it’s all about…like something’s wrong or I’m forgetting something important. I’m not 100% sure what it’s about. I do know that some of it is due to my rash, emotional decision I made yesterday to take in a puppy that needed some love. I was only thinking about myself and how much I needed to do something, anything… I have been in “I don’t give a shit!” / “I give up!” mode for a while. Just doing nothing really, for myself or my family. I’ve just turned into a fat lump, one who just moves between bed, the couch and back to bed. If I have to get the kids or something, then I do it, but otherwise, I just do nothing. I mean nothing! I avoid people. I don’t get out socially. I don’t really want to be seen. I feel embarrassed and ashamed about how much weight I’ve gained. Pretty much the only thing that I do is write this every day. Then when I read the ad about a young woman (not yet 30 I’d guess) who was diagnosed with a debilitating disease, who was on her own, living in an apartment with 4 dogs and 2 cats (one 25lb one!), who could no longer care for them and needed to re-home them. I just thought, hey, I could do that. I could help her. I can’t imagine being alone, without the love and support of my family. My hubby, my kids, my mom & dad, my good friends… I saw that it can be worse. I could be alone. I’m not alone and she is, and I so so just wanted to feel useful and worthy of something. I wanted something that would make me feel good about myself. So, I called her and met with her and brought her adorable, little puppy to our house. This girl, who seems to have a heart of gold, found this poor little girl abandoned and alone out at night. She was dirty and matted and starving. And, she took her in. Even though she already had 3 dogs (one who had been rescued from an abusive and awful situation), in an apartment!! She got her cleaned up. Took her to the vet. They posted ads, on-line and paper ads, but no-one claimed her. And then about a month later this kind young lady got sick. She needed help. So, I wanted to help. The thing about all of this and whether or not my intentions were good, is that I should have spoken to my husband first. I let myself get so drawn in that I forgot to stop and talk to the person that does so much for me. I was selfish and I’m sorry. He knows this, we’ve talked through it, but I’m still feeling bad. I love him so much and I am so used to him just being there for everything, no questions asked. Well, I know, now, that I took advantage of him and it was wrong. I am so thankful for that man!!😘

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Lazy lazy lazy. I make myself so crazy. So many things to do. Piles and piles to go through…

I think this will turn out to be my shortest post! I don’t know why, but I still really feel rundown. Like from the moment I woke up! I felt like dead weight. Just didn’t feel like moving. All day it’s felt that way, just dragging my butt! I’m just completely sapped of energy. Then my stupid face thought it’d be fun to join in on the party! Nope…

I need sleep. So so badly! Bye until tomorrow!

(Clearly my shortest post yet!)

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!