Tag Archives: #medication

Drawing is exhausting…

Today I’m feeling overwhelmed. My art class is tonight and I didn’t get everything done yet. It kind of freaks me out. The funny thing is that I’m in this class by choice! The instructor seems very laid back and I’m pretty sure he won’t even be checking things. I need to draw everyday. Doing so will help ingrain the new skills I’m trying to learn…unlike this past week. I’ve been so so busy, I feel like I haven’t had a moment to myself, other than when I’m lying in bed at night. Then I’m so tired I don’t think all that cohesively…actually I don’t know if I ever have cohesive thoughts…lol. So, he did check to see how everyone did on their homework. Thankfully there were a few of us who didn’t do it all, at least it wasn’t just me!! I still felt bad though. Mad at myself mostly. This is supposed to be for me, so I need to stay on top of it!! This is what I did tonight for our second class. I’m off to bed now…

 to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the WorldHealth Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!
 

Ouch!!

   

 


This is what happens when your teenage daughter wakes you up at 4:00am to say goodnight and tell you that you fell asleep reading:  So, you try to get up quickly & immediately step on your 5 year old son’s story-book that happens to be on the floor right beside the bed, where you often put them after reading bedtime stories.  So, you step onto said soft covered book, which immediately slides across the floor sending you flying sideways, falling directly and with all of your weight, into the corner of your bedside table right on the back side of your hip/butt – hitting it so hard that the corner breaks the skin & your screaming/crying/laughing wakes everyone up!  It gets worse because, as you try to find purchase with your feet stepping & sliding on book after book, you can’t move forward because there’s only about a foot and a quarter space between the wall and the bed where you’re trapped in your non-stop fall, while simultaneously yelling at your daughter to help you, who, incidentally, is laughing so hard at you that she also can hardly move, so you keep sliding and falling and re-hitting the same place over and over until finally, by grabbing the sheet, bit by bit, you pull yourself up, laughing and crying at the same time, you yank your jammie pants down to check for damages and have your daughter run and grab a bandaid and she, gleefully, puts the bandaid on your ass, and  finally, with tears of laughter rolling down your face, you are able to stand, up, and, with great dignity, say goodnight to your beautiful, still giggling, daughter…and limp off to bed.

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the WorldHealth Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

PS: I, obviously, haven’t quite figured the fonts out…I don’t know why, when I try to change it, it only changes part of it…if you know what I’m doing wrong, please feel free to let me know…because I’m so frustrated by it!!!!

And Set Yourself Free…‼️🙋🏼‼️

Do you think you can hide it,

That no-one can see?

That your fake smiles and laughter,

Can hide it from me?

You pretend you’re okay,

Act like everything’s fine.;

All happy and laid back

Yet done by design…

Your secret’s not covered,

Not hidden away.

It’s right there in plain sight

I’m so sorry to say!

But, you’re no longer alone,

You are safe here with me.

So please speak your truth

And set yourself free…🌠

JKC

This is a new one that just came to me today, at a busy time of course, when phrases hit me… So, I don’t know yet who it’s about, if anyone.  These are just the words that came through me, so, please, don’t worry about my family nor myself, it’s all good!!❌😘❌‼️it is what it is…we don’t have to like it? But, it still is…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the WorldHealth Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

In the know

Can they tell? Do they know?

I’m hiding in plain sight,

Does it show?

I say “I’m okay” or “Yes, I’m fine”

I’m so full of it,

But this pain is mine.

Will it stop or go away?

Or will I always have to fake it,

Each and every day?

It’s completely gained full control!

It rules the roost,

And has taken it’s toll.

I think it’s actually starting to show

It’s so hard to hold it in

And now most people know…

JKC

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the WorldHealth Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Life Can Sure Get Expensive!!

Wherever I look there’s something we need. Not even counting the five mouths to feed!! “Mom I need this,””mom I need that!” “Mom please, buy me that yoga mat!” “Seriously, why? We already have three??!” “Sure, but I need one that my friends can see!!” I don’t even want to figure that out. I’ll just have to decide: a smile or a pout. Some days it’s easier to just give in. It’s important to pick which battles to win. Does anyone know why it all happens at once? “I need shoes” “I need a haircut” “I need money for hot lunch!!”And don’t even ask about the cost of dance. Um…perhaps she’ll give basketball a chance…?! But I can’t really talk or point any fingers, as the shock at the cost of art supplies still really lingers!! My husband will need a beer or two, before I give him that receipt to view! And I wonder the best time let him know, that most of our son’s clothes just have to go! He just won’t stop growing, taller and taller, he’s not like his sisters, who’ve stayed a lot smaller. It’s just one thing and another, again and again, and I’m pretty damn sure that it never will end! Such is the fun of life I am guessing, besides I wouldn’t change it – my family’s a blessing😍😍

Tee Hee❌⭕️❌‼️

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the WorldHealth Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List. 

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Find The Time

It has been two days since my drawing class and I haven’t picked up my pencil yet. I have this strong pull to draw and keep saying, both out loud and internally, I need to do my “homework”, or I need to practice what we worked on Monday night, or the only way to master something difficult is to just do it!! I’m saying and thinking about this over and over again. Practice does make perfect! Even if this phrase brings up bad childhood memories about homework, among other things, it is true! Sorry guys, but the cat’s out of the bag! Our parents were right all along, practice really does make perfect (or at least better, practice makes you better…) The teacher gave us a few things to finish by next week and, as I said above, I haven’t done any of it yet! (Aren’t I the good role model – lol!!) I need to prioritize drawing on a daily basis. I’m doing this class for myself, something I’ve wanted to do for a long long time. So, it makes no sense that I haven’t been able to fit it into my week yet! Part of the problem (at l see it  in my head) is Guilt. I feel shitty so often and end up needing to lie down or sit and do nothing. And now, I want to take up some of that precious time for myself! Realistically and from a mental health perspective, self-care is super important and, intellectually, I know that.  But, obviously I am not that great at practicing what I preach! So, when my daughter and I get home (from dance) I’m going to practice for at least 30 minutes before bed.  Oh, and here she is, so, we are off! Short one tonight, but better than nothing!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the WorldHealth Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

Truly The Hard Part…

I need to listen to my body…

I need to hear what my tummy “says to me”,when making decisions, both small and large.

I need to focus on my breathing; to listen to my breathing.

My body is wise. My body is strong.

My body will take me where I need to be.

So, I will practice listening to the subtle cues my body is continuously giving me.   

I cannot ignore the pain;

I need to focus on it, feel it, understand it, and hear its’ needs.

This is to better help myself.

To find compassion for myself, compassion I feel in my tummy, my “gut” and in my heart.

I need to listen and pay attention:

What is my body telling me I need???

I need to listen to my body…

JKC

On January 11, 2006 I wrote this in one of my journals.  Yes, you heard me correctly, nine years ago, I wrote this! Has anything changed? Don’t you hear how prevalent this is…still? Talk about being stuck in a rut!! I feel like I know what to say and how to say it, but implementation, following through, making changes, whatever you may want to call it, not easy. Saying the words, easy.  Acting on the words, well, that is truly the hard part.

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the WorldHealth Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!


First Art Class Tonight

I really enjoyed my first ever drawing class! I’m feeling like I am pretty slow at completing the assignments, compared to everyone else, but I’m able to do it at home and he’s very okay with moving through the lessons at our own pace.   He does most of his beginner classes from the book called ” Drawing On The Right Side Of The Brain”. I was pretty excited about that. I have the book, and the workbook. I’ve tried to work through it  a few times, but I always end up not finishing it. I’ve actually looked up the author online to inquire whether or not they have any classes in Canada. The concept really appeals to me. I’m hoping that I come out of this course a competent drawer, maybe not amazingly talented, but able to actually draw. Now I’m going to bed.

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

From The Vault

Here’s something from June 29, 2000:

 

How do I step out of the box

That was crafted by you?

How do I push down the walls

When you don’t want me to?

 

When do I embrace myself

Without judgement or shame?

When can I shake myself free

And stop playing your game?

 

Why do I let you make the rules

Without seeing how I feel?

Why do I sit back and watch

While you roll the reel?

 

You say the rules are all made 

And it’s been said and done.

Yet no one seems happy

And no one has won. 

 

So we remain here in anguish 

Each praying for more. 

Can I take the first step

And open that door?

 

JKC 

 

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

 

 

 

So Far So Frustrating…

Well, here I am trying out the new split Apple keyboard. I’m not sure what I think of it yet. I understand the thinking behind it, since keyboards are used less and less and most people are using smart phones and tablets these days. The thing that I’m really not that sure of is the actual size of the keyboard itself. I have big hands and, consequently, big fingers. My thumb already hits the wrong letters often, I’m not sure if I will hit the smaller ones even more! I am awake far too late again…I don’t know why I keep doing this to myself. I feel crappy as it is I don’t want to make things even worse!!

I am feeling very good about our decision to take our daughter to a dance school in the city. She has finished her first week of dance and has really

WHAT THE???  I can’t see what the h I’m typing right now???!!! The stupid keyboard is covering up all of this…for all I know, it has made a dozen errors and typos  and I can’t see any of them!! Too frustrating.  Anything and everything that I’m trying to do to move either the writing up or the keyboard down has not worked!! Well, I guess I can give a better judgement about whether or not I like the new keyboard…NOPE!! Not anymore anyway. I was kind of getting the hand of it and seeing how it makes sense, especially on a tablet, but now that I haven’t been able to see any of this…, well I believe that it speaks for itself!! Huh… I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if this is actually working! So so so frustrating! You’d think that there would be an automatic function that just moves the written words up as the screen fills up…this is feeling ridiculous!! I’ve decided that I will keep all that I’ve written under here, regardless of errors!! I guess if I can’t figure out how to correct this, I will have to go into settings and revert back to the regular non-split keyboard!! Well, I guess I will write about our daughter’s dance experience tomorrow. It’s super late anyway. If anyone knows ho to correct this glitchy pain in the butt issue, please let me know!!! Night all!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!