I’m feeling a bit better today (emotionally I mean, my face hurts like a “bleep”!!) I have this irritating urge to apologize for yesterday’s post. It’s irritating because people (the vast majority being women) have been apologizing for having depression for years and years. And, despite the influx of education and information about depression, it still carries a huge stigma with it. For the most part, those who haven’t personally battled depression or had anyone in their lives with the disease, people just don’t understand it. It is not just having a bad day or two. It is not just feeling sad, it is not something you can “just snap out of it”, it is not a personal choice, it is not just being lazy nor is it all for attention. Well, it “is not” many ,any things. I’ve been told that instead of taking antidepressants, just go for a run, because your natural endorphins will help you feel better. Seriously! Yes, I will get right to it…some people with depression have a good day if they’ve gotten out of bed and onto the couch. (Oh right, that’s just plain laziness!!) I have friends and family who have won the battle with depression and some who are still ingulfed in it. It is a disease not just an overly emotional person or drama queen or…(fill in the blank here, because, sadly, I’m sure you’ve heard of the many many other things that are said regarding depression.) Studies examining the brains of people who have died with depression show that, when you compare the brain of a healthy person to the brain of a person with depression that there are vast biochemical differences of those with depression. 

So, although I have the urge to apologize about yesterday’s post, I won’t! (Which is huge for me because I’m one of those people who apologize about everything!!) I am depressed. I am not going to be depressed for the rest of my life, but currently I’m swimming in those murky waters and it sucks! Part of the reason I began writing this blog is to find myself in the muck. It is a long journey and I have shared a great deal about my personal and very emotional struggles. I’m certain that I’ll find my way out of the muck, but not over night. This blog is helpful to me. It makes me believe that I will find myself and I will find my way through it, to come out the side new and improved!! This is a difficult journey and I know that my honest posts are often difficult for my family and friends to read (I will not be offended if you choose not to read my posts, because they are too difficult emotionally for you to hear.) However, again, I will not apologize for writing what I write. It is cathartic and despite my post upsetting and worrying people, it is helping me. It’s one of the things that I still actually do and feel good about. I mean I’m almost into December, which means there is one month to go and then I will have kicked some butt and completed my personal challenge!! Yay me!!

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health topic list.

Hopefully once day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!

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