Another day with a migraine!  It hasn’t stopped all bloody week! Ug!!! I’m so so f…ing wanting it to get the hell gone!! Sorry for the language. I’m just feeling at my wits-end. My face is worse today than it’s been in quite some time. I’m not sure why. I wish I knew why. I wish there was a way to know…when it would strike, how bad it would be, how long it’s going to stay…Well, I do know some triggers; the number of hours of sleep I get, how much stress I am dealing with, a cold wind or often my car’s air conditioning, a peck on the cheek, a touch, probably how bad other things are, like my migraines. The thing is that most often, it’s completely unpredictable. Sometimes none of these things lead to pain. So, it is hard to know, day to day, where I’ll be at. So, today, it’s bad. Really bad. And, if I haven’t mentioned this yet, I HATE IT!!! It’s funny, I hardly ever used to use that word, “hate”. I have had talks with my kids about that word. I talked to them about how harsh, absolute and cold it is. When I hear it, especially when it’s about another person. I can feel myself physically cringe. Yet here I am using it over and over again! Yes, it’s not directed at someone, but it is still the same word and carries the same meaning with it. All of the same connotations. Allowing it into my day to day vocabulary brings that negatively with it. I need to find a way to dig myself up and out of the pile of negativity that I’ve been drowning in. The negativity is easy to see, especially if you have read a few of my posts. The problem is that I’ve allowed it to seep into everything!  I feel like I’m infused with negative energy. As if I’m just marinated in negativity! I see it everywhere now. I get upset easier, I get frustrated, overwhelmed, angry, defensive… I am also getting less and less adept at hiding everything. I’ve always been very good at the whole “I’m okay”, “I’m fine”, with the smile on my face, type of person. But now, it’s getting harder and harder to hold it all together. The other thing is that I have stopped caring about things, stopped putting effort into things. I find myself dragging myself from point A to point B. I currently have no motivation. On days like today, I’m just done. Period. Hope my birthday brings a better day with it…I guess I’ll see tomorrow.

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”! 

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!