Can someone please tell me why divorce & custody resolution has to be so damn hard?! I’ve had so many friends, both male and female, who have gotten divorced and the battles in and out of court always seem to be dragged out so so long, as long as possible or as long as the money lasts or often beyond that point… I’ve written letters for and have had to testify for friends. I’ve worked with kids and families who are trying to figure out how to live again, with who and where. And, it’s just super hard on everyone! I mean everyone!! (Well, maybe not the lawyers!!!). Please understand, that I’m not trying to open a can of worms or upset anyone and I realize that the issues are rarely plain black and white. It’s just that so much energy goes to fighting in court and lawyers and back and forth between the exes…I know resolution is often hard. That there are many sides to every story. Etc.. I just think it’s so so sad. All of the effort is put into the battle…is there anything left for the kids or your own life? Is there any time left? Any money left? Any energy left? The stress and anxiety and uncertainty and mistrust and “he said” “she said”, it just goes on and on. Our kids go through all of those same emotions alongside their parents, regardless of how hard the parents (sometime both, but often only one of the parents) attempt to shield them from it. And when there’s finally a lull for 6 months or maybe even a year or two, suddenly the battle recurs as the kids hit certain ages. Or one of the parents has a change of heart or “evidence” against the ex spouse…And bam! Suddenly the resolution is no longer there and we’re back in court…again! Meanwhile, the kids grow up and we grow resentful and exhausted and we realize we forgot to live our lives. To be present for our lives and those of our children…to laugh and smile and dance and cry and sing and hope and embrace our children and our lives. I know I’ve never been in this difficult position & I hope that I will never have to be. I’ve just seen this played out far too many times to count. So much pain and sadness and anger. Are we marrying too easily? Are we having kids too quickly? Are we not trying hard enough or trying too hard? Is it just how the world is now? Where more than 50% of marriages end in divorce? What’s happening to us and our priorities or lack thereof?  Please understand that I’m not trying to judge. It is the whole system that irks me! And, I have made many poor choices, as we all have. I was lucky enough to realize, just in time, that I needed to run away…quickly!! Before marrying that very wrong and emotionally abusive man! Very lucky… And even now, our first daughter was an unplanned blessing to our lives. But, yes, unplanned is true. I just lucked out that my beautiful surprise was with a man I wanted to spend my days with. I just wonder if this battle is ever won? Is more damage done to everyone in the end? Adults and children?  Friends and family? Grandma’s and Grandpa’s? Neighbours…not many are left untouched.

Are we left broken and lonely and untrusting; wondering “if only”…

To help with research and treatment for Trigeminal Neuralgia please go to http://www.tnnme.com (Trigeminal Neuralgia and Me) to sign a petition to have the World Health Organization (WHO) add Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN) to their “Health Topic List”!         

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!