It feels as if just yesterday you were right here by my side.

You could make me laugh, you could make me mad and, Love, for you I’ve cried.

While half asleep, I reach for you; your arm, your chest, your face.

I slowly roll towards you, but I’m met with empty space.

I hug your pillow and breath you in, but the smell is fading away.

I need to feel some part of you, something had to stay…

I frantically throw open the closet doors and yank out all your clothes.

I throw myself onto the floor, as the panic grows and grows.

I burry my face and close my eyes wondering how I’ll live without you

I shake and shake, rocking back and forth, I still can’t believe it’s true.

I know I have to find a way to take one step then another.

The problem is we always said we’d be there for each other…

I catch a glimpse in the mirror and don’t recognize the face I see.

If I can’t see a hint of who I was, I wonder now who I will be?

Our beautiful children now look to me in this new role I’ve been cast.

I know for them I must be strong, but inside this pain just lasts & lasts.

I see their pain, their anger too and together we have cried.

I try to show them how to carry on, for I know you’d wish I tried.

I know you loved me, oh so much and I know they just lit up your eyes.

They miss you Love and so do I, it’s so hard to say our goodbyes…

In the moments, the very quiet times, when I’m alone with just my mind,

Like whispers on the wind, I swear, I hear your voice, from just behind.

I know you’re watching over us and that you’ll always be close by,

Thank you for sharing your life with me, you silly, grumpy guy!!!

I’ll see you when I get there. In the mean time, I love and miss you.

And don’t forget about the rest of them, yes they all miss you too!!

JKC

Last night I was thinking of my cousin’s widow, their kids & my uncle & aunt.  It really made me stop to think about how it would feel if I lost my husband &, well, this is how it made me feel. I was crying while writing this. So, I was intending to dedicate this to her, & still am, but I will not put her name here. She knows who she is and she can read this when she wishes. She is currently on a trip with her kids &, although yesterday was a sad day, I want her & her kids to have a great holiday. We are very sorry that we couldn’t meet you in Calgary. Maybe one day we’ll come to Australia, that’s what my girls would love…take care.

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!