So, as I mentioned last night, I’m still attempting to figure all of this out. And, perhaps this wasn’t even read last night, which would bring a sense of relief somewhat.  Frankly I feel like I’m kind of scrambling…Anyway, I’d be relieved because it looks like my “challenge” to write everyday was blown on the very first day – why?? Because, I didn’t know how to actually “post” my post!! So, my first “official” post was at 12:07AM😥😥 (I really had finished before midnight…so it counts darn-it lol!!).

Today’s isn’t much better or earlier!  My mission to find a way to heal myself hasn’t changed. I lowered my one medication last night, no changes though. I have an appointment with a pain specialist at the end of February. I feel like I just want to tell him that I want everything out of my system. I want a clean slate!  I want my brain back, or what’s left of it!!  At night I take 13 pills!! Those pills are not including ones I have that I have to take as needed, migraine medication, pain medication, gastrointestinal medication etc. etc… And, sadly enough, I’m truly not exaggerating, that’s how many I take at bedtime (I also have many to take in the morning & throughout the day. My 4 year old son has watched me & asked me why I take so many pills before bed.  The saddest thing is, I don’t really have a good answer for him. I tell him that it’s for my “Owwy face” (is owwy even a word..??). It’s not a good answer because I’m still in pain. Why am I taking this many damn pills when I still feel awful?? Or, honestly, I believe I feel worse!!! Shoot…awful post…I have to go through. Will continue tomorrow…

Hopefully one day I’ll get it right, or at least have fun, while about it I write!!